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12 » anxiety

... { " My anxiety was taking
over. " }

After trying to compose myself more than once, I picked myself up and wiped the heavy tears from my warm cheeks. My throat was dry and I heaved a small sigh. I had been crying for so long that I almost forgot what I was crying about. I debated whether to leave the bathroom and face my brother and Wyatt. I didn't want to face them. All the questions Tommy would ask might make the tears come back.

I didn't want that.

I glanced at the mirror and my reflection can only be described as horrid. My hands began to tame my tousled strands of hair, then I splashed some water on my face. The cool liquid was refreshing and was sure to kill the heat crawling through my cheeks.

Then, I quietly opened the door, praying that the others wouldn't hear-

"There you are," A startled gasp escaped me when Wyatt appeared behind the door. "Tommy is asleep."

He was asleep? Relief flooded my body and my shoulders loosened. At least now he won't see me like this.

However, Wyatt still stood in front of me with furrowed eyebrows. "Why were you crying?"

I stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. How did he know I was crying? Why did he even want to know? It wasn't his business, but for some reason I couldn't help but feel vulnerable. I wanted to lie, but it was hard when I couldn't even say a word.

I shivered under his long gaze and turned away, hugging my sides in a desperate attempt to disappear.

"Ivory-" My name left his lips in hesitation, causing goosebumps to tingle the skin on my arms.

"I-I wasn't. . .crying." The words came out breathlessly before I could think. The lie didn't come out as smoothly as I wanted it to, but it sounded a little convincing.

"I heard your sobs from the other room." Maybe not. "Tommy is a great brother, he told me everything he knows about you."

I held my breath. A pain that most likely resembled a knife jabbing my chest coursed through my torso. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly. Why would Tommy do that? Did I not teach him to not say anything about our personal lives? That boy is too ignorant.

Despite my stiff posture, Wyatt continued. "He said you used to have many friends, and that you would talk all the time."

Why was he talking to me? He hated me when we first met, why was he trying to befriend me? Why now?

"He wonders why you're alone now, why you don't talk anymore. Tommy is worried for you, Ivory," Wyatt took a deep breath. I felt a warm rough hand rest on my shoulder before he spun me around. "And so am I."

Tears welled up in my eyes again, but blinked them back harshly. "W-why?"

"I can't answer that." He looked away and closed his eyes, a grim line now replaced his lips.

I couldn't say anymore as everything was starting to blur. My breathing had quickened. My anxiety was taking over. Fear and panic absorbed me and I quickly turned away from Wyatt. He couldn't see me like this. I hurriedly headed towards the kitchen for some water to calm myself, ignoring Wyatt's calls. He called my name several times but I didn't stop.

I grab a glass with my shaking hands and moved to the sink before filling it up with a clear liquid. I gulped down the water, making sure to hold my breath, then placed the empty cup down on the bench. My body was weak and I leaned against the counter for support. Eventually, my heightened breathing died down to a normal pace.

It all happened so quickly that I was thankful I had reacted like I did, otherwise this would have been the second time I had fainted in front of Wyatt.