Stella stared at herself in the mirror. Words of her peers had replayed in her head, constantly pestering her about how she looked. She tried to shut them out, she tried to hide herself from them, but nothing helped. Her mind was now mocking her as did everyone else around her.
Her thoughts were swimming in doubts as she tried to make herself feel better. "Joonie wants you to love yourself, surely that's the least you can do..!" She spoke to herself.
'Yes, but how can you love yourself when you look like this?'
"..you're right."
'I know I am. You look horrible. You speak horribly. You are horrible. Namjoon probably just pities you, honestly.'
Stella felt her heart clench at the thought of that. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Her idol, her boyfriend, the love of her life.. pitying her. If she asked him, he'd say he loved her.
But could she even believe him at this point..?
She wasn't slim, she wasn't beautiful, she wasn't what he deserved. He deserved someone pretty, someone with a nice smile, someone who was hourglass-shaped and heavenly.
She was just.. her.
She was dragged from her thoughts at a gentle, rhythmic pattern, being tapped on her door. 'It's probably Justina coming to cry again. She only knocks softly when she's sad.' She sighed, getting up to open the door.
Instead of her crackhead of a best friend, she saw Namjoon, the love of her life.
"Oh- hey, Joonie. What brings you he-"
"I love you."
She was taken aback. Why was Namjoon being so weird? He usually lets her finish a question, but for some reason he just spoke powerfully, forcing his voice to come out stronger than usual.
"You don't deserve to feel this way. I know I probably seem weird to you right now, but it has to be said. I love you so damn much.. everyone goes through things like this, Stella. Everyone feels insecure and doubts themselves.. I've done it, too. You're not alone in these things.
You know those three albums? That's my message to you. You've given me reasons to love myself, and you've helped me to find out how to love myself. I want you to use me. Please — use me to love yourself. Even if it takes hours, days, weeks or years, I don't care.
Please. Use me."
Stella felt her heart swell up to the point that it was painful. Why was he saying all of this..? It meant everything to her. She felt like crying, so that's exactly what she did. She leaned forward, slumping into Namjoon's chest, burying her face into his jumper to hide her sobs.
Strong arms immediately wrapped around her, hugging her close to his chest. She felt safe when Namjoon rested his head onto hers - like he protected her from her insecure and bad thoughts.
"I love you so much. It hurts me - it pains everything in me - to see you so beaten down and broken. Your thoughts are like an obstacle, you just need to learn to overcome them. Sometimes you need another person to help you overcome em', and I'll be that other person.
I will help you through everything, even if you don't want me to. I'm here for you, even if you don't want me to be. I will stay by your side no matter what. No matter how many crabs I have to help you catch, no matter how many gigs I have to cancel, I will be here for you.
You don't deserve to feel this way - like you're not as good as anyone else - because you're better. And you deserve so much more. More love, more affection, more touch, you deserve it all.
I love you."
I know you haven't been feeling the best lately, so I wrote this!! TwT it's probably late but I saw you felt miserable on your personal, so here's this in an attempt to cheer you up. <3
Shouto's part is next btw ^^
