Life Hurts but Heals

Chapter 4- On the Road

I cry out, "Greg! Greg! Please speak to me!"

No response. I turn around and punch the wall. Maybe a half of a foot away from Logan's head. My hands sting and tingle at the same time. Why? I think. That's why I came back! I came back for nothing! I could've died and kept Greg safe. If I wouldn't have came back, he would still be alive!

I run out of the hospital and sit on the stairs in the parking lot. Why? Of all things that I could've hit, it had to be Greg. I made him bleed to death. I made him die. I am his killer. I can't take it, I have to get out of here.

I look at the car, then look at the street. I live 5 miles down the road. Not much of a walk.

I run out into the street without looking because I don't care if a car hits me or not. I deserve it.

I see headlights coming, but I walk like they're not even there. They look at me like 'you dumb ass, get out of the road.' But I make it out of there just in time. They flip me off on their way by, but I just wave with a smart ass smile on my face.

I laugh. I can't help it.

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When I get to the house, I get the spare key under the welcome mat. I open the door and run straight to my bedroom. I pack like 12 outfits, including bras and underwear.

I get a medium-sized backpack. Big enough to survive with, but small enough to not get in the way. I start to walk out the door, but I want to let Logan know that I'm going to be gone and there's no use for looking for me. I run back into my bedroom and start writing.

Dear Logan,

I know that you don't want me to leave since I'm the last bit of family you have, but I'm keeping you safe by leaving. Don't bother looking for me because you'll never able to find me. I hope and wish you the best of luck. And before I go, when Greg nearly killed me, I went to Heaven for a moment and I saw Rue... She told me to tell you and Greg that she loves you, but she's probably told Greg by now. I love you.

~ Love, Jordyn

I lay the folded piece of paper on his dresser.

As I walk through the hallway, my feet stop at Greg's doorway. They move into Greg's bedroom, and when I get to his bookshelf, I find a picture of all of us before Mom and Dad died. Logan was 13, Rue was 10, Greg was 3, and I was 8. We are all in the park on a hot, summer day. Logan has his arm around me, I'm holding Greg, and Rue is placing a kiss in Logan's cheek. Mom and Dad are in the back putting their arms around each other, smiling as if they've never been happier.

I can't take this. I've lost my parents, then my older sister, then my younger brother. I cry out and throw the picture onto the bed.

I run into Rue's old room and look in her vanity drawer and find some red lipstick. I go back into Greg's room and draw a heart around my parents, Rue, and Greg. I put it beside the note I wrote in Logan's room. Then, at that very moment when I step out of the house and lock the door, I officially become alone, on my own.

Down the road from my house are woods I used to run to when I felt emotional or angry when I was little. I start to walk, but I notice my knives out of the corner of my eye. I pick them up one by one. The last one I pick up is the one with Greg's blood smeared all over it. I stare at it, and I don't even notice that I'm crying until a tear drips from my nose. Jordyn, I know it's hard, but you need to move on. It will make it easier for you. Just remember the good times you've had. I tell myself. I put 4 knives in my pockets, 4 in my belt straps, and the last two in my braid. With that, I walk off, down the road and into the woods.

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I find this flat, mossy rock I used to sleep on at night whenever I didn't feel like going home. Nobody knows about my little spot but me. It's my home away from home. I unpack my stuff and put my knives in my backpack. I set it right beside of the rock and fall asleep.

Everything becomes dark, but I hear a soft voice, or voices, singing a gospel song I heard in church once. That's when everything starts bringing color. I see the pearly gates I once saw before, but this time, they're open. They don't open when I come near, they're just open...

I step hastily towards the gates, and I see Jesus again.

"Jordyn," He says softly, "I have brought you here because someone wants to see you."

I nod my head. Jesus waves his hand, and Greg appears. I walk slowly towards the gates, but inside I just want to tackle him. He runs to me and tackles me instead like he could read my thoughts. I hug him as tight as I can, and he does the same.

"I missed you so much!" I say and kiss his cheek.

"I did, too!" Greg say, "I wanted to visit you, but I couldn't do it unless you were dead or asleep. So, here we are now."

"Wait," I question, "so this is all I dream?"

"Not really. I couldn't talk unless you were dead, and I don't want to kill you just to talk to you."

"Greg, you can kill me! I don't care! Nobody cares about me except Logan, and I'll probably never see him again."

"No, you deserve to live your life."

"You do too! You don't deserve this!" I say, getting up.

"No, I'd rather stay in here, and I can't. You already came back to life which means I can't."

"Ok, I guess that makes sense, but I wish it wasn't like that. Will I get to talk to you every night?"

"If you'd like to," he turns to Jesus, "Is that possible?"

He nods.

"I'd like that very much. Will you do that to Logan as well?"

"I can't tell you that. His dreams are his business, and if you want to know, you'll have to get him to tell you himself."

"I'm probably never going to see Logan ever again. I left him a note in his bedroom, but that's it."

"Well, that was your choice. That was your little choice that you made." Greg said. (A/N Read my little choice by weareallwehaveleft)

"Ok, I understand," I reply.

"You have to go. I will see you tomorrow night, " he says.

"Ok, bye love you. You too, Jesus. "

"Bye love you, Jordyn, " they say.

Then I wake up.

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When I pack up my stuff, I walk back to the house. I walk slowly because darkness in the woods is a little frightening. I brush back a branch that was in my face, and I see blinking lights and hear sirens.

I look threw the neighborhood, and find the blinking lights and sirens belong to two cop cars and ambulance. But the worst part about is... they're at my house.