Life Hurts but Heals

Chapter 10- Depressed

Grimes might have been wrong about me being depressed before, but now I know for a fact I am. I no longer have any family. I no longer have a boyfriend, and all the friends that I thought that I had are fake. Except for maybe one if Grimes was telling the truth, and I'm still arguing with myself whether I should believe him or not.

My door opens and I see Nicole. Nicole? Why is she here?

"Hey Jordyn, are you alright?"

I'm hiding under my covers waiting for the oxygen to give out.

"What do you think? What do you want?"

"I just came to see if you were okay. Finnick and the others may be fake, but Foxface and I aren't. We actually liked you for you. We all knew how Finnick was and-"

"And if you were my friend you would have told me!"

"We would've, but we didn't think you would believe us."

That comment makes me wish for Grimes to be here with me. I need to apologize and I really need some company that I'm really allowed to have.

"How did you even get here?"

"I snuck a dart in when I first came here, and I've been able to figure out how to pick locks with it. They don't have this place down too tight, but I really don't think anybody wants to leave."

I shake my head, and I hear footsteps. Nicole turns to me in fright.

"Hide under my bed. Hurry!"

She runs for a little, then slides on her stomach and lands under the bed and curls up into a ball. Smooth.

It's Dixon.

"Grimes wants you to report to his office," he says while sliding the door open.

I get up without saying a word and look at the concrete in front of me as I walk. I look behind me as Dixon walks me to Grime's office, and I see Nicole jump back into her cell across from me.

Dixon drops me off and says something to Grimes in his ear. He smiles and tells him to leave.

I don't sit down. I just stand at the door way rubbing my elbow. Grimes gets up and opens his mouth to talk, but I catch him in a hug before he can say anything. I start crying, and he pats my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he pulls me of his shoulder and holds my shoulders, trying to make eye contact, but I look around the room, "What happened?"

"Finnick. You were right. You were right about everything. How could he? I don't know what I did to deserve getting arrested, loosing all of my family, getting my heart broken by some jerk in prison, and now everyone treats me like a little kid because 'I can't handle prison,' and you're one of them!"

"Hey, everything I did was out of kindness. I'm trying my best to make the prisoners comfortable because a officer that was really disrespectful to this one prisoner was murdered. The prisoner killed him, and I don't want that to happen to my dad or Dixon. Have you ever lost someone really important to you?"

"Too many times actually.."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that."

"No need to be. It wasn't your fault..."

That makes my body tense. It's your fault just in case you didn't forget.

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only one here who knows how to feel something," says Grimes.

"Hey, Grimes-"

"Call me Carl."

I think for what he just said for a second, "What, so are you just being 'friends' with me because you don't want me to kill you?"

"No. Of course not, especially since all of these other things have happened to you. What I do to for the other prisoners are talking to them as I walk them wherever they wish to go, and tell them a little joke here and there. I try whatever I can, but it's different with you. That's why I moved you from Finnick because I heard he did that kind of stuff, but I wasn't for sure. I tested him, and he did as expected. I also didn't think that he was worth your time. You could do so much better than someone in here."

His comment makes me smile, and I sit on the edge of his desk facing him while he is laid back in his black leather chair. I swing my feet. It's a habit that I have when I'm in a good mood.

"You really think so?" I ask. I might sound desperate, but I haven't felt happy since Rue died.

"I know so."

My smile puts another smile on his face.

"How old are you again?" he asks sitting up in his chair.

"15."

"Well, now you have a friend your age and not 17."

He gets up and comes close to me, but I don't move. We stare into each other's eyes, and we stay that way for what seems like forever. His eyes seem like they would swallow me whole. Kind of like what Greg's eyes looked like when I came back from Heaven but yet different. He starts to move closer. His face is a few inches away from mine. He starts to get closer, I close my eyes, and I hear the door open, and I see that Grimes was probably an inch away from my face with his eyes closed. He backs up and sits back in his chair. Dixon interrupted our magical moment.

"Um... Sorry to interrupt, but you have a call, Jordyn," he says.

He shuts the door, and I pick up the phone that's ringing on the other side of the desk.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello Jordyn. It's Peeta," he replies.

"Um... hey. How did you know I was here?"

"Logan. He told me before he saw me last. But he-he's been to the hospital recently again."

"Ok... is he alright?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. He- he is... dead."

I drop the phone, and I collapse into Grimes arms, sobbing.