Winter's Sunshine

10. The House Arrest

Jen kept herself busy working on modeling a sniper prototype on her tablet. She glanced at Bucky who was still asleep and noticed him stirring up slightly.

"Bucky?", Jen whispered at him. "Bucky? Can you hear me?", Jen asked stroking his hair slowly. "Wake up Bucky."

"Ugh! My head- It hurts.", Bucky opened his eyes, his hand rubbing his eyes. "Jen?", he asked recognizing her voice.

"Hi", Jen said smiling brightly at him. She helped him sit up and rubbed his arm gently.

"Hey, What- what happened? Why is my head hurting so much?", Bucky asked rubbing his forehead.

"Why don't you rest for now and we can talk later."

"Ok." , Bucky said getting out of his bed. This shit hurts. Just like a hangover.

Bucky stood up from his bed, his head pounding. He looked in the mirror and noticed blood on his clothes. Flashes of the mission came rushing to him, It wasn't supposed to- why blood? It was a fake mission right, he tried to remember.

"It was a fake mission right?", he asked Jen, turning to her. "Why there is blood on my clothes Jen? And- Why don't I remember anything?"

Jen tried to calm Bucky down but he insisted on knowing what had happened. Jen gave in and told him everything that had happened on their mission. Tears started forming in Bucky's eyes when he realized that he had killed so many shield agents, and even tried killing his friend, Sam.
Jen filled in the details of he tried to attack her and that's when he lost it. I tried killing her too? What's wrong with me?

Bucky couldn't look at Jen. How could he? He felt so ashamed of himself. He felt weak. He covered his face with his hands to avoid her gaze as he tried hard to avoid crying. No, please. I am tired of this.

"I am so sorry. So sorry I didn't mean to- I lost control I just-", Bucky started justifying, tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Hey look at me, look at me Bucky." Jen grabbed him and made him sit. She knelt down at him and held his face gently.

"It's Ok. Really. It's not your fault. You were not you back there. You have nothing to be sorry about. Ok?", she said reassuring him.

Bucky nodded but still couldn't face Jen because of the guilt. He had dealt with this guilt before, over and over again. But this time it was different. This time it involved his loved ones. He kept looking down, staring at his hands, avoiding Jen as much as possible.

"OK?", Jen urged him, wiping his tears off his face. He felt so broken, she wished she could help him.

"OK.", Bucky replied nodding.

Bucky realized how calm Jen looked, not at all threatened by him. Everyone he knew gave a strange vibe to him, almost like they feared him. He may have done nothing wrong to them, but they would still treat him like a threat. But here was Jen, who had seen his ugly side and yet chose to be with with him.

He looked at her beautiful face, her brown eyes working their magic on him. Whats so special about them, he wondered, Why do I feel so drawn to them? Jen stood up and and took a swirl. She looked around checking out his bedroom.

"Nice room", she complimented him.

"It's- ", he started, but decided to accept her compliment. "Thank you."

This was unusual for him. Jen was acting normal towards him. The one thing he both craved and feared. Normalacy. No one treated him normal. Even Steve and Sam treated him differently, as if they are trying to protect him at every step. Natasha too treated him different. She made him feel broken. But Jen was the first person to treat him like this, Normal. This was new for him.

"So why don't you take a shower and freshen up while I get you something to eat.", Jen suggested him. She picked up her laptop and walked to the door. "I will be right back", she said shutting the door shut.

Bucky signed feeling overwhelmed. He was tired and wasfeeling  helpless as usual. But something other than these was rushing through him. This way of emotion, happiness? Maybe, was flooding through him.

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Jen walked down the corridor and saw Steve walking her way, tired and dirty.

Perhaps he is coming for a mission, she thought.

"Jen, right?", Steve approached her with a tired smile.

"Yes. Are you coming from a mission?"

"Yes and it was exhausting.", he said with a weak smile. "By the way, what are you doing here Jen? I mean on this floor?"

"Oh I was in Bucky's room, you know", Jen said pointing at the back

Steve just raised an eyebrow as her words hit his ears. In Bucky's room? He tilted his head, gesturing her to continue.

"I mean I was waiting for him to wake up. He was attacked and then controlled using those trigger words while we were on the mission", Jen said observing Cap's face fall.  "-a fake mission to be exact.", she added.

"What?"

Steve was confused so he asked Jen to explain everything in detail, which she did,quickly. Hearing enough, Steve ran towards Bucky's room to make sure that he was okay. Jen too followed him hurriedly.

Steve barged in Bucky's room who was now half-naked getting ready to get in the shower. Jen who was following Steve noticed that Bucky was shirtless and looked drop-dead gorgeous. Damn those abs of his. Could he be anymore sexy? Even waking after being unconscious for a good five hours and killing a bunch of people in a hypnosis state, he still managed to look this good.

I could just lick him- Jesus, Jen control youself. But is he for real? Jen wondered biting her lips. She shifted her attention to Steve who was questioning Bucky.

"Buck are you Ok?"

"Yeah, Steve. Nothing new, same old, as usual.", Bucky replied, shaking his head.

"For how long he had been unconscious?", Steve asked Jen.

"For around 5 hours now."

"Well, that's accurate.", Bucky noticed, remembering waking up from his slumber after his missions in more or less the same amount of time.

He threw his towel on his shoulder, gathering his essentials for a shower.

"And what did the doctor say?", Steve asked to no one in particular. Bucky looked at Jen to know the answer.

"The doctor said that he is fine and there is no need to worry.", Jen replied smiling warmly.

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"You have to stay in Buck"

"So now I am on a house arrest.", Bucky said bitterly drawing circles on the armrest with his fingers.

He looked up to see all eyes on him. Steve, Sam, Natasha, all three staring at him.

"Only till we get you fixed.", Natasha stated, calmly.

Get me fixed? Bucky noticed how tired Steve and Natasha looked as they had just returned from their mission, and Sam had a bandage around his head, well that was because of him and yet they were here trying to help him.  They thought he needed help. Sure maybe because they think I am broken.

Bucky looked at them again and was hit with a wave of guilt under their stares. He was convinced that they were right. Maybe I am broken, broken and needed to be fixed. With this thought he agreed to Steve's plan, the plan being, that he would not leave this tower, until said otherwise.

"Sure. It's the least I can do.", Bucky said standing up and going back to his room.