No Harm List [g.d]

Chapter 13

2 weeks later
I stood out with my feet in the edge of the lake taking in a breath in of fresh air. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist as I rolled my eyes. "Hands off Dolan." I responded turning around coming face to face with Ethan.

He laughed shaking his arms, "I wanted you to think it was Grayson." A moment of silence filled the air, I hadn't been doing much talking to Grayson these past weeks. A small conversation and nothing much more. I just didn't know what to say or where to start. 

I didn't exactly live a normal life. Amanda had adjusted fine and her and Ethan seemed to be getting really close. Maybe even liking each other, it was cute and I was genuinely happy for them. I just couldn't seem to grip the fact that my life was like this. 

I missed my job at the hospital and I missed the daily stresses. Just having a normal life, now mine was so far from normal if you would've told me I would've been living this life I would have shaken my head and assumed you were crazy. 

I felt as if I were a character in a book or movie even. It felt as if happiness wasn't so much of an option anymore. Grayson kept telling me things would calm down and I would be able to return to a normal life. I know what I would return to, but I'm not sure where Grayson would go. 

A big part of me wants a future with him, we planned everything out as kids. We basically had our whole entire life set out, and a huge huge part of me wants that. I just don't think it could be realistic anymore. In other words, I just felt. Well I guess numb. 

"I know deep inside you're hurting Blue." Ethan continued as I took a deep breath in the cold wind hitting my face taking that breath away. "I don't know where I stand anymore Ethan. I just want my normal life back. But, I want him in my normal life. I don't want whatever this is." I responded as Ethan just stood there. 

He was definitely taken aback by my words. Hell, even I was shocked with what I just said. I still cared for Grayson deeply and he will always have a piece of my heart. But, where did he stand? I don't even know anymore. "You still love him don't you?" Ethan asked as I looked towards the lake once again. 

 "I'll always love him Ethan. A part of me will always love Grayson." I said as I heard more gravel crunch from behind me. Ethan and I both snapped around to see Grayson with his hands shoved into his pockets, looking up towards me. "Ethan can you give us a few minutes?" Grayson asked as Ethan shook his head walking back towards the cabin.

I turned back towards the lake not looking at Grayson, but he was standing next to me. I felt his presence next to me, the steady sound of his breaths. "How much of that did you hear?" I asked still not averting my gaze. "Just the tail end of things." He responded as I saw him turn to look towards me. 

"Blue, please tell me how you're feeling." He added as I inhaled, "I want my old life back. The simple day to day life of an ER Nurse with a few late bills to pay. And the occasional parking ticket and the ER drama of the surgeons and doctors butting heads." 

"I want that so badly. But, I don't know why or what part of me wants this. But, I want that life with you. We planned out everything from front to back. There was nothing left unattended, I want that life with you. But, it can just never happen." I started. 

Silence filled the air again. Merely the sound of wind hitting the water and the small waves crashing were heard. "I just need to move on when this is all over. I need to go back home and just act like nothing ever ha-." I started but I was cut off by Grayson grabbing my face with his hands. My heart stopped beating for a few seconds. 

And Grayson didn't do anything else he just stood there with his hands placed on either side of my head. "Blue, I want that too." Grayson spoke as I became confused. "What do you me-?" I started to ask but he cut me off again. "I want you Blue. I want us again." He said as a warm smile spread across my lips. 

I leaned in closing the gap between us our lips connecting. It was like fireworks going off in my stomach, the same feeling from high school. The same feelings came back, flooding my heart like a flood. It was quite overwhelming. 

I was falling for Grayson all over again. 

~~~

Hey! Been super busy with sports starting back up sorry for the late update. But let me know what you think in the comments I love feedback from you guys! Its the best and it helps me keep going and writting. Also THANK YOU SO MUCH for 3k reads on this book. I never thought it would get this kind of attention. I'm so grateful for your love and support.