Can You Spare a Gem? ( STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE / SPINEL FANFIC )

Neko-maid Steven

Steven sighs dejectedly and leaves the room. He goes outside and takes down his neko maid dress from the laundry line, then he goes to the bathroom to put it on.

He goes back upstairs to Spinel.

"It's about time ya got here!" She muttered in a disappointed tone. 

"Here you go you're majesty," Steven said sardonically as he presented her with a glass of ice-cold lemonade. 

Spinel scoffed, "I can't drink that!"

"Why not?" Steven clenched his teeth.

"Are you blind? Just look at it!"

Steven inspected the drink carefully. It was fine and he was getting irritated. "What about it?"

"That lemon has three seeds in it," she explained. Steven looked at her skeptically. "That's an odd number!" She exclaimed. "I can't eat anything odd-numbered!" 

"Fine," Steven said, "I'll just take it out." He reached into the glass and took out the devil's lemon. 

"NO!" Spinel said darkly. "No! It's already contaminated by the bad lemon! It won't work!"

"Hmm," Steven said, narrowing his eyes, "that's two things in this house that won't work."

"Then go fix them." Spinel squeaks. 

Steven grips the glass so hard it shatters. "Two things that won't work." He says, clenching his fists in anger. 

"I've changed my mind." Spinel pouts, "I want soup instead."

"Okay," Steven backs out of the room, "don't move," he turns around, exposing his naked ass. 

Spinel folds her arms and waits for him to return. 

Steven re-enters a few minutes later with a bowl of steaming green soup. "Here you go." He says, "it's alphabet soup." He squints "I made it special." 

Steven lifts the soup up to her face. The letters spell out:

G E T  A  J O B

Spinel slaps the bowl out of his hand. "Condensed soup from a can?! Disgusting!" She shrieked, "now you've ruined my appetite!" She folded her arms again, "go fetch me something to read." She hand-waves him away. 

"Oh, okay..." Steven says, walking over to the bookshelf and selecting a newspaper. He brings it over to Spinel and shows her the job listings category. "How about this?" He says through gritted teeth. 

Spinel gasps in disgust. "Get that away from me! You know I'm allergic to newsprint!"

Steven chortles insanely, "ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did... at her job!"

His phone alarm goes oof. 

"4:00." Spinel ignores him, "time for my stories. Hurry up, they won't hold the show while you laze around."

Steven sighs angrily and walks out of the room. He comes back in with an empty TV and hands Spinel the remote. 

Spinel turns it on to see two puppets; one green puppet and one lime puppet wearing a shirt and tie. 

The lime puppet whistles. 

"Hey, where are you going?" The green puppet asks her. 

The lime puppet answers, "to my job."

"You have a job?" The green puppet asks, incredulously. 

"Why wouldn't I? I'm not some lazy, inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day." She said, intensely. 

"Hey, where can I get one of these... jobs?" The green puppet asks. 

"Oh, they're everywhere." Steven explains, "especially if you're pink and have extendable limbs."

"Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one so I can stop..." Steven pushes off the television and it thumps to the floor, "...mooching off my friends and they can get back to their lives!"

"This isn't my show." Spinel says, confused. She presses the remote button, but nothing happens. 

"Steven, the remote control is broken! Get over here and fix it!" She yells. 

"I have a better idea-" Steven kicks the TV screen in. "Why don't I call someone whose job it is to fix it? You know why? Because when I need a job-" He poked Spinel on her gem, "-done I get someone with a job-" He poked her again, "to do!"  He poked her again, "that job!"

Spinel narrowed her eyes, "what're you saying?"

Steven grabs the side of his bed and tears it off the floor. Then he carries it and Spinel outside and to the interstellar warp pad. He teleports them back to homeworld.