After the Storm//Poetry

27| Merry-Go-Round

...
Memories flood over me
I can't seem to get you out of my head
I remember the things we used to do
Every time I go to bed

You're stuck in my head
You're haunting my every thought
I can't seem to think about anything else
My thoughts get caught

In dreams I used to believe
You were my everything
But now you're gone
And I have no reason to sing

I leave you behind me
And put you in my past
Because I already knew
We'd never last

So just leave me alone
Leave me be
Stop haunting me
Because now I can clearly see

You were bad for me
And you'd always hurt my heart
So now I take what used to be whole
And completely fall apart

Why do I miss someone like you
When I knew that you'd only bring me pain
You've left your trace on my heart
In the form of a stain

I guess I need to let go
Of what used to be us
Because if I hold on
I'll continue to cuss

Of the horrible things
That I thought we once were
Because just for now
My heart is astir

The memory of you haunts me
Deep to my very bones
Why does it hurt so much
You've thrown your sticks and stones

When can they get past me
It wasn't supposed to be like this
This feeling of being empty
Is one I never missed

I can ask you to leave
But I know I can't handle being on my own
But I know I can't ask you to come back
So somehow I have to learn handle being alone

It's boring without you
But it's been boring all along
So I'm not sure what else to do
Other than wait to hear your song

I can wait to hear your voice
I can wait to hear from you
But I know I never will
Because you and I weren't true

I'm trying to let you go
I'm trying to say goodbye
But it's so hard
I can't even lie

It's genuinely hard
But here I'll let you go
Because I can't keep holding on to a mere memory
Healing will be slow

But I'm willing to try
Because holding on
Is what's been hurting me most
So the line must be drawn

I'm letting you go
I'm saying my last word
Goodbye
But somehow the line is still blurred

I don't know what I'm doing wrong
I'm trying
But somehow you won't stop haunting me
I'm crying

But I know you don't care
So where do I go from here
I don't even know
I was told to steer clear

I didn't listen
Now look
It only took one second
And I was hooked

But you left me behind
Just like they told me you would
I'm  going to walk away
Like I know I should

I'm not turning back
Because I know you won't come back
But even if I did look back
I'd see nothing but black

My vision is blurred
I can't see anything anymore
If you look close
You'll see what you tore

My heart is no longer one
You pulled it apart
You tore it in two
So now I have to restart

I'm back where I started
Burdened and broken
Is that what you wanted
I should've just listened to what was spoken

Then I wouldn't feel like this
Everything would've been okay
If only I hadn't asked
For you to stay

We go around in circles
'Round and 'round
But without you it's quiet
There's not a single sound

It should stay that way
But I can't handle the quiet
I love you
And I can't deny it

No matter how many times this happens
You have me bound
Just take all I have
Because I'll always ride your merry-go-round
...