After the Storm//Poetry

14| Mirror

...
I look into the mirror
I see myself then
I see myself now

O how I used to be
So broken and alone
Tattered and split at the edges

But now if I look
I'll see the me I always hoped to be
I am loved

But why must I continue
To push away the ones who love me
I know they love me, I know it

I can't accept their love
If it's not hers
I know it's broken

I know that somewhere
Deep inside my soul
I'm still broken

But I just want my life back
I want my friend back
I want it all back

But I know it's something I can't get back
She's gone
And she's never ever coming back

I disturbed her
I disturbed her family
Because my love must not be enough

A girl cannot love another girl
At least not in this world
They won't let me

So if I look once again
Into that shiny, silver mirror
What do I see?

I see me
A lonely me
A me that is breaking piece by piece

It's a me I never hoped to be
It must be a lie
It is a lie

Everything I've ever known
It's all a lie
My life is a lie

I don't want to live a lie
But I must
Because I can't go back

I can cry all I want
But it'll do nothing
Because nothing will bring her back

I remember
No I think
And I know

That If I l looked into that mirror
I wouldn't see myself
I'd see her

Because I used to see myself in her
But she's gone now
So now I see nothing

Nothing but the person I've become
This horrible, disgusting person
That I must be

The mirror
The mere reflection of myself
Now is the thing I fear most

Myself
...