Where She Went

27. Drowning In Blue Waters

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmaaasssss

(:
Do you ever think of me when you lie...

Lie down in your bed,

Your bed of lies...

*********************************************

I take my hands from November's grip and place them in my lap, biting my lip as I try to think about what I want to say.

"I--I'm..." My erratic heartbeat caused me to stutter. I was so scared.

November rubs my leg soothingly and gives me a small smile. "It's okay. I'm listening, take your time."

Love swelled in my chest and I fought back the urge to weep. I was being so horrible to him, the way I was acting. How would he ever continue to love me?

"There is something... Growing..." I start. "I'm my stomach. It's a miracle and curse. And I don't know what is going to happen but..." I glance over to see November's expression changing to one of concern and confusion.

"I hope you'll raise this child with me." I finish, taking one of his hands. He sends me a fearful gaze, but doesn't say anything as I place his warm hand over my stomach.

And then tears break his eyes, and it seems as if he has collapsed all at once. He gently squeezes the fabric of my dress as if to make sure it was real and this was happening before he spoke.

"You're pregnant?" He whispers, his blue eyes wide.

I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself to speak.

"Yes. November, I'm so so sorry--"

"Stop. Don't say that." It comes harsh from him, making me flinch. His expression changes again, and now he looks... Concerted, hopeful.

"This is amazing, Hazel." Even in his now different look, tears still fell from his glowing eyes. "This is a gift, I couldn't be happier."

"Huh?" I was surprised, shocked even. How could he take this so kindly? I had put a great burden on both of us.

November gave me a true, beautiful smile. One that I knew I grew to love so intensely. He removed his hand and placed it in his lap.

"When did you find out?"

I swallowed and removed my gaze from his peering ones. "A few days ago... I didn't know how to tell you... I tried to tell you yesterday, but Kaleb had cut me off."

"Oh." He says quietly. I probably reminded him over the events that took place, and I quickly recover him from it.

"I-I was thinking..." I start, pulling his attention away from what was in front of him. "You would want to come up with a name for it, if it was a girl... Or boy."

"I would love anything that you create, Hazel."

"But I still want your opinion, I mean it is both of ours..."

This was still really hard for me to contemplate, me becoming a mother at such the young age I was, and having either two people be the father of it... It was messing with my head even more than the thought of being kidnapped for so long.

"Alaska." November suddenly says, his foggy blue eyes concentrating on something in front of him. "If it is a girl, that is... A beautiful state, one of the most beautiful. It is cold, and snow covers the mountain tops and grazes the land like a blanket, and yet it manages to make a perfect stilled picture of true beauty. And her middle name could be May, just before summer, but not quite. It is barely holding onto what little is left of the chilled seasons, but letting the warmth start to blossom."