You're it (SEQUEL OUT)

Chapter 24- sinking deeper and deeper.

I lie in my bed all weekend, dreading Monday. Not because of school or because I'm not having a vacation.

Luke is why I lie perfectly still in that bed, not daring to move an inch. For fear moving will make time speed up- make the moment in which he leaves forever catch up to me quicker. My heart aches every time I think about it and yet, I can't stop thinking about it. 

I feel so caught off guard- so betrayed. I could understand why hadn't told me for the first week or so but weeks..he knew. He knew he'd be leaving me behind and he let me fall in love with him anyway, despite my best attempts not to. 

Ryan had texted me saying his dad moved the flight forward to Monday and Luke really wanted to see me. I was pretty sure he also stopped by but Darren asked him to leave.

I wanted to call. I wanted it so desperately, to just reach out and hit his name. To hear his voice and let it soothe me.

It seems so stupid, so overdramatic. But throughout my life I've given pieces of myself to people, to love and look after. My parents, Darren, my friends. Luke. I keep giving these pieces out and the biggest one went to him- the person I trusted. The gorgeous boy who surprised me, over and over again. Who loved me and yet, hadn't trusted me enough to tell me he was leaving. 

Twenty four hours are all I have left to even see him, if I wanted to.

I can't help but wonder if this is a punishment for something. If the universe is just so cosmically against me having anything good, if it just enjoys being continuously brutal. 

My phone has seventeen missed calls. Ten of them from Luke. Four from Ash and three from Hollie. I roll over to face the wall, my chest tightening.

I hate this. I hate love and all it's stupid repercussions.

Because I do love him. Of course I do. After all these months, it'd be impossible not to. He's my friend- one of my best-friends. He doesn't judge, doesn't shame. He listens and cares. He makes me laugh, he makes me open up in ways I didn't even realised I'd closed off. 

The door creaks open and Darren enters, sitting on my bed with a sigh.

"Are you going to get up?" He asks. I stare at the window, my eyes scanning the multiple cups of coffee Emma keeps bringing and slowly clearing away. "Look. I wanted you to know something before Luke is gone. When he picked you up that night he told me he was leaving. Almost begged me to stay here with you, not to leave you alone. He felt so awful that he was going to hurt you."

I continue to stare at the window but my heart's racing and my thoughts are going at a million miles an hour. Luke told Darren, on prom night. The night I found out. 

"If you wanna lie here, fine. It's your choice completely. But he-" He pauses, as if unsure how to continue. "-I think he loves you."

My throat goes dry and tears form in my eyes again. Darren doesn't say anything more but pats my shoulder and leaves. I don't need confirmation from him- I know Luke loves me too. I know it from the way he looks at me in the car, a smile lighting up his face. I know it from the steady grasp he would hold my hand in, his love rushing into my bones. 

I slowly fall asleep, pathetically wishing he was right here beside me instead of laying here alone. 

"Okay, intervention time. Lets go." A voice demands, slim hands yanking my covers off me as Ashley collapses on the bed beside me. 

"Where?" I mumble. I turn over and look at them. Ashley's hair bounces off her shoulders, a pair of sunglasses wound into it. Ryan sits on the bed, his face tightened with worry. He reaches over, patting my leg over the covers.