HTGAB101 :: changlix ✔︎

step 5- thursgay

Step Five: If you're a shy or quiet person, don't try to be loud for him! If you speak quietly, he'll have to lean in to hear what you're saying, which invites intimacy and more skinship!

.....or a wonderful opportunity in which you embarrass yourself!

I slouch back in my bed. I'm a pretty shy person, so I guess I could tone my voice down even more.

And yes, I did just say that I'm shy. Aside from the few reckless stunts I've pulled (going up to Changbin and Minho, going up to Seungmin and Hyunjin, doing orange justice in the cafeteria, and a few other things that I prefer not to mention for the sake of my embarrassment) I actually have a tough time being outgoing.

I'm not sure why that is, actually. Something in me? The way I born? How I was raised—the fact that my parents abandoned me?

So, anyway, that's why I'm practically whispering to Changbin in the auditorium today. We have an assembly about women's reproductive rights, and Changbin seems really uninterested. I mean, like, same, but that's because I don't plan on getting intimate with any girls to get them pregnant. It's just not my jam.

I'm sitting in the aisle seat; next to me is Changbin, then Minho, then Jisung, then the HJFC lined up next to and around him.

"Felix," he whispers.

"Hmm?" I'm trying to make myself as quiet as possible.

It kind of backfires.

Changbin leans in closer so he can hear me better, but he also whispers more quietly. I don't think my poor heart can handle the close proximity, but who cares about what my heart can and can't handle?

"Why are they talking about something we already know?" He asks. It's a valid point. We're in college, so we've heard nearly a hundred speeches identical to the one that doctor so-and-so is drawling out right now.

This is a really weird college.

He giggles at my bored expression, and I roll my eyes, certain that I'm a horribly humiliating shade of red.

"I don't know; maybe it's because they think we weren't there for the other trillion assemblies?"

He makes a funny face, and next thing I know I'm in the principal's office with him.

It's actually kind of a blur. I suppose the funny face must have made me laugh, which would have attracted attention from Jisung and Minho. They, in turn, would want to see the funny face, so Changbin would do it. I'd try to replicate it. Minho would try to replicate it. Jisung would try to replicate it. That, in turn, would cause the HJFC to try to replicate it. Which would not end well, and would cause a professor to handle the situation as if we were all twelve-year-olds.

Like I said, a very weird college.

And this, of course, is all speculation. I have no recollection of the current happenings, because I'm so detached from life. It's something that happens.

"You two are aware that reproductive rights is a serious topic, right? And it's boys like you who end up paying the price for not listening."

I almost laugh.

No, I actually laugh.

Principal Kim looks at me like I've grown a second nose where my left eye used to be. "Is something funny?"

I figured that now's a good time as any to come out. My parents are who-knows-where, I'm in a room protected by, ya know, "confidentiality," and I'm... holy cow manure with a side of guacamole and beans.

I'm next to my crush.

"I'm, uh... I'm not very interested in, uh, in that kind of, uh, relationship with... uh... I mean... at the, uh, at the moment."

Changbin snorts. A single, beautiful (wait what) sound that reminds me of a cute little piglet that's happy (what is wrong with me?).

I will rephrase.

Changbin snorts. A single, beautiful sound that reminds me of better times, of car rides in the rain, of boba tea in the city, of couch cuddles during a movie, and all sorts of aesthetic stuff. Changbin's snort is aesthetic; there's no other way to phrase it.

Principal Kim's perpetually-red face looks at the two of us, unimpressed. I see the defeat in his empty, beady eyes when he dismisses us back to the auditorium.

"Did you see how he looked? Like a lobster!" Changbin laughs. It's a nice sound, and I wish I could hear it more. Like his snorting.

I consciously speak more quietly than I would in other circumstances. "Hilarious," I giggle. He leans in, eyebrows furrowed.

I mean... I did giggle. That's cause enough for furrowed eyebrows.

"What?"

SUCCESS! I HAVE MADE SEO FREAKING CHANGBIN LEAN CLOSER TO ME IN ORDER TO HEAR ME BETTER! TAKE THAT, BOOK!

I clear my throat. "It was hilarious," I repeat, louder.

He nods, and we enter the auditorium.

I don't remember a single word spoken throughout the entire speech afterward.

Not that I was ever paying attention in the first place, of course.