When I can't accept you for who you are.I hate myself.
I wish that was just an exaggeration, but I knew it wasn't. And most of all, I hate the guy who sat beside me. I hate that it's just the two of us that's always left when Marco always goes to Star.
I swear Marco likes Star, it's just his pride in age gaps that doesn't let him. I feel him, I'm on the same boat.
Because I like the guy beside me, but I don't want to. He's not good looking, he's not attractive and most of all, he's bland and boring. There's almost to nothing that we have an interest with and he's too kept in his own world.
"Janna, are you alright?" he asks, finally paying attention to me. I look away, unable to withstand his gaze. "I'm fine, just bored. Must be nice to read books, wish I could, but I don't like reading."
"Then you want to go somewhere?" he suggest and my eyes lit up. I mean, this isn't a date, it's nothing. "I was thinking of going to the bookstore, there are new releases--I mean."
*sigh* Books and Books, that's all he cares about. I glumly look at him and nodded. "Sure, why don't we go there."
I wish he would look at me like how he looks at the countless of books. But I could never dictate or judge him, who am I? I can't even admit to myself that I like him just because he's not the ideal guy in society's eyes.
///
"Hey, Ferguson," I call his name. "--are you interested on someone?"
He thinks deeply, then flashes me a smile. "I guess," I look away, then pretend to flip the pages of the book. "Who is she? Is she pretty and something like that?"
I shouldn't be jealous. I don't like him, he's not my ideal guy, it's just nothing. "Well she's pretty, basically out of my league."
"I...see," I say dejected. "--aren't you gonna introduce her to us?"
He chuckles. "Why do I need to introduce you to Star and Marco?"
"Yeah wh----" my eyes widened because it took me a while to process what he just said. I pointed at him and then to me. "Y-you l-like me?!"
He shrugs his shoulders casually. "Why not?" I poke his sides. "Hey! Hey! How are you so chill about it?!"
"Because I know you like me too," he looks at me normally. "Do I have to squeal and act shy about it. Janna we're eighteen for pete's sake, we're mature adults, aren't we?"
"H-how do you know I like you?" I glare at him. He scratches his head. "Marco told me?"
I look away and clench my fists, giving the glass from inside my deathly glare. That little prick! Then I see a kid cries looking at me and I snap out of my terrfying gaze. "Why didn't you make a move?!"
"Because I'm not interested," he bluntly replies, then turns back to the booksheleves. I poke his sides again. "You don't want to court me?"
He pauses. "Court you? Not really."
"But you said you like me!" I pull out my other strands of hair in frustration. "--are you sick in the head?! Do you know what like even means?!"
He places the book back in the shelves, turns to face me and holds my shoulder. "Janna, you're being too loud."
My eyes twitch at his words. I want to punch him. "I like you, yes---but that's not enough for me to just court you."
"Why?" I look at him hopelessly. "First, you don't even accept me for who I am. I know that you will be embarrassed to introduce me, just because I'm not your ideal guy."
I look away, like a sharp bullet struck me. "Second, I don't love you--yet so do you. I'm not gonna rush it, I want to try it if I am certain myself that what I feel is what I really feel."
"I'm sorry for being chill about it because I'm not good with emotions," he reasons out. "--how about we go out here and buy you some icecream that you like?"
I look at him. "Your treat?"
He nods. "Whatever you want," I smile and walk out with him. I guess that can wait another day.
10-30-19
YOU ARE READING
Starco:The Rude, Blunt Kid [COMPLETED]
Fanfiction[C O M P L E T E D] Marco Diaz flees in despair after his girlfriend breaks up with him. Unable to cope with the harsh reality, he ends up at the park where he will meet the kid who'll ruin his mind, soul and most importantly --his heart with her ru...