Burning Wild

Chapter Ten

I didn't mean to fall asleep in Jake's bed that night, but I felt so at home in his arms. He held me deep into the night, his burly biceps transforming from intimidating to protective, as they held me close, refusing to let go, as his soft snores resonated through the room. It was difficult for me to find the will to leave.

In the comfort of Jake's embrace, it didn't take long for my eyelids to become heavy with sleep. I was woken from my blissful slumber a few hours later, as the light of the autumn sunrise flooded through the sheer lace curtains. The rays filled the room with their soft hues and fell gently on my face.

As my eyelids fluttered open, I stretched my stiff body, feeling better well-rested than I had in a long time. I felt a smile forming on my face. Last night had been a surreal experience. It was the first time I'd had sex in over five years, and it was long overdue. Add in the fact that Jake was a generous lover, and I was exuberating bliss.

But my happiness was short-lived because I could feel a tangible shift in the room. Jake's arm was no longer draped tenderly over my shoulder, and he had moved as far away from me as the mattress would allow. His gentle snores had stopped, and the room was filled with a silence that was deafening.

Something had changed since our night of lovemaking, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it was. I didn't want to spoil my good mood, but I knew I would find out eventually. With a sigh, I rolled over slowly so that I was facing Jake.

I wanted to tell him good morning, but I stopped short when I saw that his eyes were red and swollen. His shoulders were tense, and his arms are crossed over his chest, almost as if he was hugging himself. A single tear fell from his cheek and dropped onto the bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up in alarm. I placed my hand gently on his arm, trying to comfort him, but he pulled away.

"Nothing," he said, turning away so that his back was to me.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I couldn't comprehend the sudden change in Jake's mood. What had happened to the lively Jake who I had eaten dinner with the previous night? Where was the man who had been making sweet love to me just a few hours ago? I didn't recognize this dark and brooding stranger.

"Something is obviously wrong with you, so you may as well tell me the truth," I said, a little more curtly than I had intended.

I didn't want to be rude, but Jake was tarnishing the high I'd gotten from our night together. I found myself angry at his altered disposition. I wanted the version of Jake who had momentarily removed his defensive walls and allowed me a glimpse into his heart, not this version who closed me out any time I got too close.

"It's just that... I feel like this was a mistake," he admitted.

"A mistake?" I asked, indignation in my voice.

Jake let out a sigh. "Yes, a mistake. Last night I showed a lack of self-control, and I apologize for that. It never should have happened. I told you I wasn't looking for anything serious. I can't get into a relationship with you, Catalina. I just can't."

I felt myself getting defensive. "Who said anything about a relationship?"

I had never asked Jake to commit to me. The thought never even crossed my mind. I was trying to learn to live in the moment; why couldn't he do the same? He seemed determined to ruin this.

Jake pursed his lips. "You didn't have to say anything. You're a kind and sensible woman, Cat. That's part of what I like about you. I could never see you having a fling with some guy you barely know or settling for someone who can't commit to you."