Burning Wild

Chapter Twenty-Two

I felt every muscle in my body tighten as Jake climbed inside the car. His hair dripped onto his shoulders, then onto my car seat. It mingled with his aftershave, intensifying the delectable smell. His shirt was soaked through, and I could see his defined chest beneath the thin layer.

I made a conscious effort not to look at him. Jake's good looks wouldn't help him out of the mess he had created this time.

I was uneasy about my proximity to the man who had reduced me to the size of an ant just a few hours ago. I had never felt as belittled or as betrayed as what Jake had made me feel the previous day. I could still hear him screaming at me, forcing me from his home when he knew that I had nowhere else to go.  

"I'm drenched," he murmured, his teeth chattering as he shook off some of the cold rain.

"Well, then let me offer you a blanket. It'll be no trouble at all. I won't even have to move, since all of my possessions are in the backseat of my car," I muttered cynically, reaching into the garbage bag he had so kindly slung at me a few hours before.

Jake had the good graces to look contrite as he accepted the blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"I owe you an apology for that. For a lot of things, actually," he said, his eyebrows furrowed. "I may have overreacted a little."

"You think?" I mumbled. 

I could feel Jake's eyes on me, gauging my reaction, but I refused to meet them. I was afraid that doing so would make sustaining my bitterness that much more difficult. Jake was my kryptonite. I knew one glance in his direction would cause me to come crawling back into his arms.

I knew that I couldn't do that. I refused to become his collateral damage just because he couldn't cope with his warring emotions. Regardless of the reasons behind it, Jake's behavior had been unacceptable, and he needed to know that.

Jake picked up on my sour mood, and his face contorted with sorrow.

"I really am sorry, Cat. My outburst was unwarranted, and I'm ashamed of myself for it. It wasn't my finest moment." He sighed. "My anger was caused by things that are completely unrelated to you. You just happened to be on the receiving end of an explosion that was long in the making.

"Nevertheless, that doesn't excuse my bad behavior. Kicking you out of the house like that, causing you to sleep in this car- I can never apologize enough for that."

The sincerity in his voice was tangible. It almost made me want to forgive him- almost. I was too angry with Jake to let things slide this time. He had been unnecessarily cruel, and I wasn't sure I could pardon him for that. No matter my feelings for Jake, I would be doing myself a disservice if I came running back to him.

"I would like to make it up to you, Cat," Jake continued when I didn't reply. "I don't deserve your trust, but I'll do whatever it takes to help you restore it if you give me the chance. Please, come home."

"Home?" I said the word incredulously. "I don't have a home with you, Jake. You made that abundantly clear as you were throwing my belongings into a garbage bag."

Jake glanced at the large Hefty bag piled high in the backseat. He slumped his shoulders, a sense of shame consuming him.

"My actions were inexcusable. The things I said... I didn't mean them the way that they came out."

"Then how did you mean them?" I asked. My sadness had been replaced by irritation now. "You've got to make up your mind, already. I'm not a toy; you can't pick and choose when you want to play with me. I'm a grown woman with feelings, Jake, feelings that you've hurt. You were malicious to me for no reason."