Alex's POV
I woke up an my mind was foggy. I couldn't remember much of what had happened. I remember the images and I remember the bottle, but everything after that... there's nothing. I can't remember I'm trying, but I can't.
I hear something beside me. It's a doctor. Oh no... I'm in the hospital.
"How are you feeling?" She asks sweetly.
I have an awful taste in my mouth. My stomach turns and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I roll over to the edge of the bed, dry heaving. I guess that answers her question.
She walks over and pats my back and pulls me back on the bed.
"You'll feel better once you get some food in you."
She checks me out and asks the regular doctor like questions. After she leaves a nurse comes in with some food.
Yes! Food!
He sets it down on this little table thing that's attached to the bed and I start digging in. My face contorts after the first bite.
Ewwww, but oh well. It's food and I'm hungry so I keep eating.
I hear the door open, I look up thinking it's the nurse again, but I'm greets with a different sight.
Patrick, Pete, and Phil walk into the room.
Patrick walks briskly to the side of my bed. I thought he might have started yelling, but instead he hugged me and started crying.
"Thank god you're okay," he said in between sobs. Hugs me tighter and I hug him back.
"I thought you were never going to wake up." he said "I was so scared."
I hug him tighter. I had no idea what to say. I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did because I thought it would help. I regret taking them. I thought the pain would go away. I just wanted the pain to go away.
"It's okay," I say "I'm okay now." I say even though I'm not.
Maybe if I say 'I'm okay' enough to myself I'll start to believe it. Like all those times I called myself worthless and eventually started believing it, maybe I can do that with 'I'm okay.'
Patrick let's me go and they all just stared at me with worried expressions on their faces. There's nothing I can really say to them to reassure them I'm fine. All I can do now is show them.
I Pete gives me a hug and so does Phil.
"I'm so glad you're okay." Phil says. He looks like he's on the verge of tears. I've always hated when people cried around me, cause I've no idea how to comfort them. I always end up saying the wrong things or not doing the right things.
I do the best I can. I give Phil's hand a gentle squeeze and a reassuring smile. letting him know I'm gonna be okay. I repeat the line 'I'm okay' over in my head for good measure.
They took they're seats Phil sat closest to me, then it was Patrick and Pete. They sat against the wall. I can already feel the change in the air. Nothing is ever going to be the same. Not after this. Never again.
****
The nurse and doctor come in again a few hours later and do another quick check. They're letting me go home.
"But," the doctor says.
There's always a but.
"I need to talk to you three alone for a moment. Come out with me into the hall while Alex gets changed." She leads them out into the hall and I'm left alone in the room to get ready to leave.
Patrick's POV
The door to Alex's room closes and we're all in the hallway.
"This is very important. One of you will have to watch her. I'm only asking you three because you guys are the only ones who have come to see her and I assume are her friends. Just keep an eye on her for a few weeks to make sure she doesn't try again," she says. "She needs to be somewhere stable. "
"She can stay with me," I say "most of her stuff is already at my home. She'll be okay with me."
The doctor nods "Good, then we're done here. She can go."
The doctor turns back to the door and we enter her room where she's all ready to go. The doc says she's free to go and we leave.
We walk out of the building and Pete turns to me.
"So I have to go. I will meet you at the house later. I have to go do a couple of things at my house before I go anywhere else."
"Okay, I will see you later." I say to him
He waves and says goodbye to Alex and Phil.
I turn to Phil
"You want to come over for a bit?" I ask "I'm sure Alex would like to talk and catch up with you."
"I would love to, but I can't. I have to meet Dan at the airport."
He bends and gives Alex a big bear hug. He whispers something in her ear and let's go and waves goodbye with promises to see us later.
Which just leaves me and Alex to go home. We walk to the car and get in. I'm still worried about Alex, I hope she'll be okay.
Please Alex, please be okay.
