Things I Almost Remember: A Selection Story

Photograph

It was an early morning, and Kate, Johnny, General Leger, and Connor were getting ready to set off to France. No one had really spoken all morning, and the air held a chilly silence. 

"Where is Kota?" Connor asked, collapsing down on the chair where Johnny and Kate sat. "We need to get this show on the road."

"He'll be here when he gets here," Johnny said as he tightened his arm that was wrapped around Kate. She was leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder. 

Neither Kate nor Johnny had really spoken of their encounter in the backyard. Johnny was afraid Kate would retreat into herself again if he continued to act so boldly so he treated every action around her still with trepidation. He had only started that morning by putting his arm around her should, and he took the fact that she had leaned her head on his shoulder as a sign he could hold her closer.

While the three of them were on the couch, General Leger stood off in the corner of the room as though he were on duty as a guard. It was a habit he still easily fell into, especially in tense situations.

When Kota finally came down, he was carrying what looked like a crumpled piece of paper in his hands.

"Kate, I have something for you," he said cautiously. "I think it is only right that you have it."

Kate sat up from where she had been leaning on Johnny and turned toward Kota.

"What is it?" she asked slowly, her navy blue eyes wide.

"Well, as you know I was a bit cut off from the rest of my...our family. However, my mother, your great-grandmother, still tried to keep me a part of it. She would send me letters and photos every so often. Your parents never had photos of you released to the public for your privacy so this is the only way I got to see my nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews. However, I think you need it more than I do now."

Kota held the paper out to her and she took it and slowly turned it over. She gaped in a breath.

The photo showed a scene under a large shady tree. A small girl with curly dark brown hair and navy blue eyes swung on a swing pushed by a man in khakis and a plain blue button-down shirt. He had dark hair and the same navy blue eyes as the girl on the swing. The little girl had a big smile on her face, as though she had been laughing as she swung back and forth. Off to the left, an elegant looking woman with dark brown hair and large brown eyes sat in a floral sundress on a blanket in the green grass under the tree. She held a small boy with brown eyes and the same dark hair as the rest of the family. 

Kate stood frozen as she stared at the photo. It was so familiar, like a glimpse of something she once knew, but at the same time, it was foreign, the family in the photograph mere strangers.

She looked more closely at the little girl on the swing and saw she had a gold heart-shaped locket on a chain around her neck. 

Kate's hand instinctively went to her chest where her own gold locket rested under her holey sweater and threadbare coat. She stared down at her hand and sucked in a breath at her worn old clothes, the only clothes she had.

The little girl in the picture wore a white dress sprinkled with blue flowers and wore a navy blue ribbon in her hair. She laughed as her father pushed her. She was watched by a loving mother. Her little brother looked at her in awe as she seemed to fly through the air.

Tears began to form in Kate's eyes.

"That's not me," she said, holding the photo back out to him. "I don't want it."

"Kate, I know it must be hard..." Kota began, but Kate cut him off. 

"That is not me. I don't know who those people are. If that is who this French Royal Family is expecting, we shouldn't even go," she snapped.

"Kate," Johnny said quickly stepping in front of Kota. "I know this must be so hard, but you have to confront this if you want to move forward. You told me when I first met you, by which I mean when I met YOU, not Kerttu, that Paris was the only place that had answers for you. Don't forget that."

"That was before I learned that in some other time or place I was, I was, I was..." she sobbed, heaving in a breath. "I was some lost princess people are looking for. I'm not a princess. I'm a poor orphan who can't remember anything. I can't remember that swing or that tree. I only remember glimpses of my...my mother and father and brother. Of my family..."

Johnny took the photograph from her and wrapped his arms around her.

"But remember when we went skating," he whispered. "Remember when you stood up for me against the other kids. How you skated slowly so I wasn't alone. How you told me I could hold onto you if I started to fall, even when I was so much bigger than you."

Kate held her breath as she leaned her head against his chest. 

"You and I used to swing on that swing all the time too," Johnny whispered as he gently stroked her long dark hair. "You loved it so much. It would take me forever to convince you to let me have a turn."

Kate slowly let her breath steady.

"I remember", he said so that only she could hear. "I remember once when you were going away for Christmas to visit your uncle and his family, I had forgotten to give you your Christmas present. It was a silly drawing I did of us on the swing together, but I was determined to give it to you. The car was already pulling out from the palace courtyard, but I chased after it calling to you. A bunch of guards, including my own father, chased after me, but I kept running. I remember how hot the sun was, it felt like I ran forever. But suddenly the car stopped..."

"The car stopped because I saw you running and heard you shouting my name, and I told my mother we had to stop because I knew it had to be important," Kate whispered. 

She took a step back from him and realized he had placed the crumpled up photograph back in her hand. She smoothed it out in her hands and wiped away the remaining tears from her face. 

"I wish so badly I could remember them more, that I could remember this day," Kate said quietly. "I wish I could remember them enough to truly miss them."

"I'm right here to help you remember our childhood," Johnny said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "I think it makes it easier to remember, and I think seeing your uncle will help you remember even more."

"Plus, Johnny had such a crush on you, it probably would be hard to forget him, even with amnesia," Connor said, breaking the moment.

Johnny glared, but Kate let out a sudden laugh.

"Well, I bet he probably wasn't the only one," Kate said, a smile finally forming on her face.

"I am sorry to have upset you," Kota said, carefully entering back into the conversation. "I hope though it will help you discover more memories of your family.

Kate nodded and then gave him a hug.

"America would be thankful for this, Kota," General Leger said quietly, speaking up for the first time.

"I never did right by her," Kota said. "But, I hope that wherever she is, she knows how sorry I am."

"She does," Kate said. "She must."

"Thank you, Kate," Kota said taking in a breath. "Now, are you ready to get out of Illéa?"