"Why are you crying?" Jason asked Axel.
"Daddy yelled." Axel responded. "Really loud." He added.
I looked down as everyone looked at me. And back at Axel. Back and forth. Yep. I'm an asshole. Big time. I couldn't take it. I walked into the kitchen. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor by the kitchen entrance.
"He didn't mean to yell. He's just a little frustrated. A lot of things happened today." Matt said. Lacy came in.
"I'm the biggest asshole ever." I said.
"Jay. It's not your fault. You didn't mean to yell that loud. And you also didn't know it'd have that effect." she assured.
"He's scared of me." I had a lump in my throat but I just swallowed it.
I've learned to do that many times where it just became a habit. I absolutely hate it when people see me cry.
"I love you more than anything. I'm sorry, but I really just want to be left alone at the moment." I sighed.
She nodded and walked back to the living room. Jason then walked in. He sat next to me on the floor.
"Do you know any reasons why he's acting like this?" Jason asked. I took a deep breath before talking.
"Today at the meeting at Axel's school they told us that they think he may have autism. And that we should get him tested. I didn't believe it at first. But now..." I responded. "Holy shit. I'm the biggest fucking asshole on the planet." I added.
"No you're not. It was a mistake. You need to learn how to not beat yourself up over everything." He responded. I kept looking down.
"I broke my promise I made with myself when Lacy was pregnant." I paused for a second. "I promised that I'd never be like my father. Never have my child be afraid of me. And he's afraid of me. Goddamnit." he stood up in front of me. I looked up.
"Get that thought out of your goddamn head right now. You are not like your father. And never will be." He demanded pointing his finger at me.
I stood up too. I wanted to smile. But I couldn't. I took a few deep breaths and walked back into the living room. Jason was right next to me. Axel started running towards us. I thought he was running to me. But I was wrong. He ran to Jason.
"Motherfucker." I cursed.
Tears streamed down my face as I walked outside. Pacing back and forth. Danny and Matt came out. Matt was holding Axel.
"Daddy. I'm sorry." Axel apologized.
I looked at him. I took Axel from Matt. The moment I started to hold Axel he basically jumped into my arms. He hugged me immediately. His arms around my neck and his head laying on my shoulder. I ran my hand up and down his back comforting him.
"Don't be sorry. There's nothing for you to be sorry about." I assured.
"I love you daddy." Axel said.
"I love you more." I whispered.
Matt and Danny were both smiling at the sight. We walked in. Again, we all gasped. I saw Lacy and Jason kissing. Like Lacy and I do. Oh my god. I looked at them and they both stopped. I couldn't yell. I couldn't punch him. I could've killed him if I wanted to. I could barely even move. Not because I didn't want to scare Axel again. But because I was heartbroken.
"Jay!" Lacy yelled. Obviously worried.
"And you were worried that I was gonna cheat?" They both looked over the top worried. And Danny and Matt looked pissed at them too.
