Mike in mm
Miracle wattson
I sat up against the head board with my eyes closed. I heard mu-mu start to cry so I got out of bed and walked into the room that mike made him when we moved in. I picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. for some reason I've been down since I've had him, and of course scary me didn't say anything because i didn't want to be a big burden to mike, i mean i already came with a kid i don't want to seem like I'm just some messed up women that has everything wrong with her. Matel's light snores broke me from my thoughts and i looked down at him sleeping peacefully in my arms. I didn't want to let him go because when he's with me i felt like a whole different person, with him i felt like i accomplished something and he makes me happy but when i'm away from him i feel like shit.
" baby you ight"
i turned around to see mike standing in the door way just looking concerned.
"um ..ye-yea baybeh" i said moving my hair out of my face. he started at me trying to figure me out, i got nervous and turned back around to put Matel back in his crib. for some reason i was shaking and i couldn't stop, i was having a nervous break down. mike came in and held me while i cried in his arms. we stood there for what seemed like hours but he didn't care he still held my shaking body in his arms. my knees gave out of me and i was about to fall but he still held me . we sat on the floor still embracing each other. i started to calm down and he rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.
"baby can ya tell me wass wrong na? he said sounding concerned. i never told him about the the jacob situation but he knew about the whole august deal. I never told him because i was scared that would leave me and think I'm disgusting and dirty, I'll admit august made me feel loved...but like in a brother sister position. even though he was my first i still see him as a big brotha but with mike...with mike he makes me feel like i can actually be happy. like everything i did dosen't matter because he see's I'm trying. I've done wrong to the people that means the most to me but I'm trying to do right by them and he see's that and he's still here. But if i tell him about jacob what if.. what if he leaves me.....
" baby you gotta talk to me, i needa know wass wrong wit chu baby, you my rock, my left hand. everything i do is to make sure you neva see me fa my past but for the man dat you and my son need. " he said. i started to cry silent tears but i'm pretty sure he felt them.
"you know" he chuckled a lil" when i met you i asked aug who was lil mama" he said smiling. "he looked at me like he was gone kill me, he thought i was talkin bout his ole girl but i was talkin bout you. he still tried ta kill me. but he said shawty right dere dats my sis, and ha ole boy is like my first so if ya ya try to pull some fuck shit ima send ya yella ass back to chi town in a body bag" i started ta laugh cause dat shit even sound like him and the nerves he had to call somebody yella when his ass like a muthafuckin highlighta. "at first i thought shawty got a whole baby i aint finna fuck wit ha, but when you let me hold him i felt like he was the other piece of da puzzle i been looking fa, i found happiness in him, but he wasn't da only one who gave me happiness... it was you as well. you were the puzzle that completed me, even though it's been a short amount of time we got to know eachother i really felt like i've known you all my life. you know i have trust issued but you you made it go away with a snap of the hand. don't think i would eva leave yo fine ass for some shit in the past, you mine, and im yours and matel. i luh you baby."
i smiled a little because that was the first time that he's ever told me he love me. love me, me.
" i-i love you too" and i truly meant it. he picked me up and walked back to the room and layed me on the bed. after he did that he went to the bathroom to handle his business but i felt like i needed to get help. his words "i luh you " kept replayin in my head and his brung my heart back to beating. he came out the bathroom and layed in the bed wit' me and held me. it was quiet and i felt like i needed to tell him.
