Is it Worth the Pain?

Confusion

I just chose to stay there, on the cold tile floor. I didn't want to move. What was the point anyway? "Maya please come out. I can explain. I promise" Alex said. "No you can't Alex, I see it now. You never cared about me, you were never interested, you only cared about Lexi. Stop promising me things because your just going to break them. Your promises mean nothing to me anymore. Just don't talk to me. Don't pretend to care anymore, okay Alex? Just leave me alone." I yelled. I felt... I'm not sure what I felt. I felt alone, broken, mad, confused, lost, and... Relief?? No. That can't be it..

I admit, I felt free. I wasn't restricted by Alex. But no, that can't be it. Who in the world would be relived after the love of their life cheated on them? Of course I still felt sad and broken and all of that, but why was there relief? Were we even meant to be in the first place? I was so confused. I just wanted to go home, and fall into an eternal sleep.

I started freaking out because I didn't know what I was going to do. Where will I stay? What will I do? Where will I go next? I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to wake up I'm my bed, and walk to the living room and see my mom. My old mom. The mom that used to care about me. The mom who was there for me. But no, she was gone. So was the Alex that care for me. He's gone too.

But then I remembered, Nicole and Jessica. We stopped talking after a while.. I wondered if they still even care. I wondered if anyone even cared.

I chose to go outside. I slowly unlocked the door and stuck my head out to see if anyone was outside. It didn't seem like it, so I stepped out. And just my luck, there was Alex. "Maya please don't go. I can explain." Alex said, trying to hug me. I ignored him and pushed away from his hug. "Maya! Listen to me!" "No, Alex I won't listen to you. I don't care what you have to say about this. Just go with Lexi and leave me alone" I replied.

I turned away and started crying as I walked out of the school.