ᎪNᏩᎬᏞ ᏆN ᎠᎬᏚᏩᏌᏆᏚᎬ (ᴄᴀsᴛɪᴇʟ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ )

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"Hey mom," Castiel whispered embracing his mother whilst she did the same to him.
He missed his mother more deeply than he ever thought he could.

"Yo CASSY!" Gabriel exclaimed taking his brother by the arm and embracing him tightly.

"Hey Gabe," the brother murmured gripping his brother tightly.

It had been this moment in time that Castiel regret ever leaving his family... Ever shutting them out. Maybe he would have gotten to say goodbye if he hadn't. They had reassured him that it was fine, that college was more important... And he believed them.

The next person that came to greet him wasn't even a person at all it was their dog Marley. Marley a large blonde haired dog that made way between their legs splitting the brothers apart; Only to reveal none other than Lucifer.

"Yo Cassy you're here!" He grinned taking Castiel's head into his armpit and ruffling his hair causing it to become mess even though it already was. "Wow you haven't changed at all,"

"Gosh can we please stop it with the nickname?" Castield pouted crossing his arms.

Never in a million years would he have ever expected to end up in this place again... Nonetheless for this reason. He thought he would visit this christmas and be done- However fate had other plans. Maybe fate knew that he was trying to avoid his past.

"Well I guess we could stop," Gabiel countered placing a hand on his chin whilst he though. "However we won't," The brothers burst out laughing high fiving one another through grins.

"I'm glad you could make it Castiel... I know collage has been rough," His mother mumbled placing a hand on his shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

"I took the first flight out here that I could to get here I-"

"You can tell us how you feel lil' bro," Suddenly they were on the couch, his brothers and mom surrounding him... Everything simply became too much whilst he burst into tears.

They surrounded Castiel in a firm and warm embrace nonetheless he embraced them back having no clue what in the hell else to do. He didn't want to break down in front of them... He didn't want this to lead to another panic attack.

"We know you had another panic attack," Lucifer explained patting Castiel's shoulder gently in a soothing motion whilst his mother rubbed his back softly.

"How do you-"

"The look in your eyes, the way you walked in, the way your hair was when you came..." His mother cut in through a sigh. "I'm sorry this had to happen... I'm sorry that your father had to be-"

"He didn't cause my anxiety attack... Well not fully," Castiel admitted never meeting their eyes. "I went by the school and I just had some bad memories I'm really I'm fine-"

"You're not fine Cassy...  Look we were thinking of getting yo a therapist and you maybe coming back after you finish your semester in college-" The raven-haired man began to hyperventilate thinking of being once again trapped in this town with all of these horrible memories.

He started to think that maybe it wasn't Y/N who triggered his second anxiety attack whilst it was this town. He didn't want to return, he didn't want the memories to come back; the memories of him getting beaten at school, or the memories of Y/N or the memories of his father. The good memories this town had given him were clouded with the bad, since his mind couldn't get past the horrible things that were held there.

Each place held something amazing, something that Castiel wishes he could relive.... However the bad seemed always able to catch up.

So Castiel darted away from the only place that held good memories... The only place that held people that actually cared about him however, one of the only people that still cared for him was dead and he simply couldn't live with that,

He didn't want to think of Y/N... Of his father... Or even of this stupid town filled with nothing except lies and torture. Lies that he grew up believing in, like the ones that told him once he grew up things would be even better. The lies that Y/N fed him, about how she would stick with him and never leave his side.

Castiel didn't want to think about any of that, he simply wanted to get away from everything. He wanted to forget about all of these horrible thoughts about what happened between Y/N and him however they simpily wouldn't leave him alone. He wanted for once to forget about everything and just let his emotions take over and the tears to come flooding out.

However, one part of the town ceased to be the same... This throwing Castiel for a loop hole. He had intended for it to be the perfect place for crying however it seemed to be no more. He wandered the town knowing fully well that happened to be exactly where that used to be. It stung his heart to think of all the memories that were now gone with that place. People gave him weird looks however he didn't care, the cool air felt nice against his wet cheeks.

Castiel hadn't remembered walking back to his beginning route and somehow he could be found there still taken aback with tears, pain and more importantly memories. Memories that he didn't want to keep however certainly couldn't get rid of.

Now the whole town saw how much of a failure he had become, whilst he was right he was broken down to nothing without Y/N and coming back here just proved it even more. He had been left with nothing except a want for college and a job to get moving in the right direction again.

Yet every direction he took always lead him back to one place, and that one place wasn't this town or even anything on an actual map yet a person. Y/N to be exact. He couldn't go a day without her being on his mind or being reminded of her. He missed his first and basically only friend that wasn't blood related to him. 

For once he felt fully alone in that parkinglot, because the place that once meant everything to him. The place that once was his special place was gone. The forest that he once knew as being thick and dense, now had been left with nothing except a few trees. Castiel sat on the brisk and hard pavement where his tree house used to stand.

A hand had been placed on his shoulder halfway through his crying session startling the raven-haired man who then glanced up ready to be punched, or worse see someone from his past.

"Relax, it's me," Gabriel reassured taking a seat next to his brother watching the sunset before them after that long and horrible day.

"H-How did you-" Castiel didn't make out the rest of his words nonetheless his brother just assumed what he was talking about.

"You always used to come here as a kid so I just assumed," His brother shrugged wrapping an arm around the blue eyed man who buried his face into his brother's chest. "Come on you can let it out,"

"I-I-" Castiel couldn't make out words all of them becoming muffled in his brothers shirt.

"Shhh, dad would have wanted you to let it out he wouldn't want you to keep it in," And it had been those words that caused Castiel to latch onto his brother and pour his emotion out to him.

Someone who actually cared about him.