inspired by Stand By Me
There was nothing like deep talks by the campfire at 12 years old.
"Mickey is a mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a dog. What's Goofy...?"
Gordie kicked off a chit chat that ended way darker than when it started.
To the boys, I was just Vern's cousin from Chicago that just turned up out of the blue in school one day and just so happened to spot a dead body on the ride up and didn't say anything. It was fair to say that I looked a little suspicious to the boys, including Vern.
"Word from the bird is that there's a dead body..."
As comforting as they could be, no one sized me up as much as Teddy Duchamp.
Whenever I said anything he was listening in detail but at the same time, he didn't give a shit. He ripped into to, criticising most things that I did without reason and it was starting to drive me crazy. I knew that if he did it at that moment, being so cold under the raw night sky with nothing but a sleeping bag and a funny story to warm me up, it wouldn't end well and my desperate attempt to get some friends would come to a crashing end.
"Hey Y/N, was the body scary? I don't know if I can handle ay more jump scares," Vern clutches his knees and balls up like a tiny hedgehog just without the spikes and double the cuteness.
I would've smiled if it weren't for the memory.
"I don't know Vern, I didn't see it all that clear..." my gaze is fixed to the dusty ground and my sleeping bag that invaded it.
"Lies," Teddy sighs, squinting at the stars in the sky that were whiter than my knuckles at this point with that kid.
One day of knowing him, one full day and my patience had been tested more than in my entire 12 years of existence.
"Teddy," Chris scolded him but no.
"No Chris it's okay, he's right. I saw him, blood on his nose, his chin, his forehead. His hair- it wasn't even brown anymore just a deep red from the impact on his head...There was something about the way he was, just still not moving. You'd think he'd gasp and come to life like that but nothing..."
Gordie scooted up closer to me, my storytelling skills weren't as good as his but the emotions were rising around the campfire and flaming with the flames that were within it.
I try to control myself but the silence they all purposefully laid out was begging me to continue and so I did.
"Being so empty, it scares me. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and go to my parents and they wouldn't know I wasn't even sleeping at all. I was thinking about what happens after and they try to reassure me how long away it is but time is ticking you know? I think how quickly this day went, imagine that but years."
A tear drips out of my eyes and onto my dirty sneakers, cleaning a tiny patch of it.
"You know I used to do the same thing, still do. You're not alone just use that time you know," Gordie confessed, putting his arm around him.
Teddy moves abruptly and crosses his legs while leaning on his palms. Those black squares never moved from the sky when 'i talked but that didn't mean those eyes of his weren't looking.
The tears were flowing, I couldn't talk choking on the 12-year's worth of sobs of fear. My speech was muddled but they still understood.
"So when i saw him, i just thought of everything I'm scared of at once. Like, am I gonna look like that? Will i be that still? Does anyone even know he's missing apart from us and my lucky life? So I guess Vern that the body's not scary but death is."
"Pussy."
Teddy muttered but we all knew he wanted us all to hear.
Three heads snap towards the kid who'd tried to throw himself in front of a train earlier. Two are in disbelief and the other is still crying, too scared for tomorrow to argue with the attention seeker before me.
"Cut the gas Teddy, I'm tired of listening to you," Chris warns with a higher voice than before, reaching his final straw.
Pouting and glaring Teddy leaves his mark without a word, gets up with a dusty struggle and marches towards the mysterious noises in the woods and away from the warmth of the campfire.
Throwing my sadness away I dry my own tears as the boys start to reassure me about Teddy but they didn't need to. I understood that kid more than my own feelings.
"Don't worry Y/N he's probably just as scared as you are and doesn't know how to say that in any other way than asshole," Chris states, making sense and keeping the peace as usual but this time he was truly ticked off that his immature friend ruined a vulnerable moment with a single remark.
This whole thing was stupid.
"Yeah, probably," I dust myself off and rise o my feet going after the kid even after he insulted me.
My heart was too good for my own good sometimes.
My mom told me ever since I could understand that not everyone is gonna like you but at least they'll respect you and even though my mom's word was the religion for me, Teddy was an exception talking from only his mouth and not his heart.
I sit down beside him, mirroring him by putting my knees to my chest. He turns away as soon as I flatten the ground with my butt and I move away too jokingly, looking back at him with a pout.
He actually smiles and laughs under his breath.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles into his arm, coming out as gibberish but I could feel it anyway.
"Don't worry about it, I knew you didn't mean it."
"It's just what you were saying you know about being scared is so important to feel like a kid. Like my dad, people say he was crazy but he taught me not to be afraid of anything. But I am Y/N and I feel like I disappointed him and the things he did when I disappointed him made me scared," he admitted a part of his life to me within a day of knowing me that the rest of the gang probably didn't know and I felt so honoured to keep his secrets that he wore on his face.
"I respect you, Teddy, even if you're a loser," he chuckles at my comment, throwing his arm around my shoulder not to hurt me this time but to bring me closer.
"You know Y/N you should stick around, you make me laugh. You're a big tickle!"
