inspired by Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure in my pants
"So Bill, what you're me, essentially, is that Napolean was short, dead dude?"
The crowd of history class erupted in fits of mocking laughter, but no giggle hurt poor Bill more than yours. The fact that you were laughing made him sink further in his seat.
That was the fifth time that week he had tried impressing you, the most beautiful and unapproachable girl in the school in his puppy eyes. He had tried every stereotype in the book on you including this one, the class clown who actually didn't have a clue what he was saying.
He feels his best friend lean behind him and even he was laughing!
"You totally blew it, dude!"
This was coming from a guy who once jumped out of a moving car because he saw a squirrel. Bill knew this fact and that made him so far off his seat that his butt was grazing the ground and his head so low that he could see his butt.
He hated embarrassing himself in front of you but this was now a tactic and no tactic has an unexpected ending except for this one. He had royally screwed up for the last time and instead of returning his focus to his lesson, Bill's curly mind could only reflect on this week so far...
"Hey Y/N!"
Bill yells from the top of the staircase down at you from the bottom and before you even had the chance to reply in cofusion, you and about 30 of your classmates were watching him tumble down the stairs on a single cushion.
Cheeks red, you embraced your books as your only contact and ran to your next lesson leaving the blonde dumbfounded and dumb in a sea of cheers and high fives.
Bill was really convinced that his daredevil act would make you his by the end of the day, signing up for something he didn't know was so hard just like his history classes.
He even went as far as actually trying in school just so he could be at least near your academic capability since he was currently sailing with the stupid kids who would be flipping burgers for people like you for the rest of their lives...
"So can anyone tell me when exactly did the industrial revolution begin?"
A hand went up that screamed rebellion and made the teacher sigh in defeat.
"Yes, Bill?"
"1760."
Everyone was shocked, speechless and gasping except for you noticing the writing on his hand below the desk with 1760 specifically in an arrogant bold. It was a nice try but he wasn't even smart enough for the execution of pretending to be smart.
He even pretended to fight with Ted in the math hallway just in case a bad boy was just what you craved but you walked straight past the scene, not even gossiping about it afterwards with your friends.
Bill was completely clueless.
Nothing was working so he left class that Friday with fewer ideas in his mind than that group discussion back there.
"Ted, it's so bogus she won't even look at me. I could wear my undies on my head and she'd still be laughing at me!" Bill whines to his best buddy, who is now waving in delight at everyone he passes down the halls.
"Dude, I think I'd join her if you were wearing your undies on your head," Ted chuckles, not really paying attention until two tiny hands pull him down to a smaller height.
