I lost Angeles

I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again

Certain Things – James Arthur

I made the decision after that night. The night Angeles lost control. Still lying in bed I couldn't even shut my eyes without seeing the man's face in my mind. Those innocent wide eyes as he fell to the ground.

My eyes fell on the man lying next to me. He was fast asleep, looking like an angel but being so far from one. His arm was draped over me, keeping me close. Too close.

I shuddered, recalling the night.

We were on a date. He had picked me up and I had worn my favorite dress. The one of our first date, the one that always made him smile extra big. I shouldn't wear the dress I realize. It's just bad luck.

He had taken me to the restaurant, everything had seemed so like our first date. Too much like our first date actually. The food was unpronounceable, he kept glaring at waiters and I kept trying to calm him down.

At the end we had left early, him already in a bad mood.

"Want to get some ice cream?" I asked, just trying to recover the evening. It had been our anniversary for Pete's sake. Why couldn't he just let go of his jealousy and foul mood for one night?

"I'll get it" he said, it coming out as a grumble.

I just nodded, looking around the street. The ice cream place we usually went to was at the sketchier part of town but the drive might cool Angeles down for a bit. We walked to the car, him moving quicker and quicker until we were in it.

Sighing he started the car, me pulling my legs towards myself and looking at the ground. Why did we go to that restaurant?

Did he want to fix our first date? Didn't he remember how shitty it had gone? Why would he want to repeat that? We drove in silence until we got to the shop, Angeles stopping the car but keeping the doors locked.

"Angel" he sighed, glancing at me.

"It sucked" I whispered, "But ice cream can fix it"

"Happy anniversary" he said, his eyes on the steering wheel. I could see his turmoil. See the anger he held for himself. It wasn't fair.

I took hold of his hand, squeezing it.

"You know I love you" I said, using my other hand to push his face towards me so he could look at me, "Even with your shitty dates"

"Don't" he said.

"Don't what? I'm simply highlighting that even though you make shitty dates, you also make a very, very, very sweet boyfriend"

"How?"

"Because, trying to recover a first date is the sweetest thing in the world" I said, giving him a kiss on the nose, "Now, let's get some ice cream, go home and then – we can watch a movie or something"

"I'm not watching Notebook"

"We can watch Fast and Furious" I nodded, him giving me a light smile. He got out of the car, rushing to my side to open my door for me. Once out, he twirled me in the street, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

"I can't live without you" he whispered, breathing heavily.

"You won't have to" I said, leaning out of the hug so I could kiss him once more. The kiss was lengthy and once it ended, his smile was wide.

"I'm going to get the ice cream, wait here" he said, giving my butt a squeeze.

He headed into the shop, me waiting by the car for him. I should have followed him in. I knew I should have. Because Friday nights meant men walking the street too.