13th Clan

Love is Weakness

Clarke POV

I woke up and was surprised to feel arms wrapped around me. I must of cried myself to sleep in Lexa's arms. One of her hands was running through my hair while the other rested on me. My face was buried in her chest. It was nice hearing her heart beat. I did not expect this out of Lexa, Commander of the twelve clans. She was so stoic and emotionless around everyone else but yet here she was caring for me while I broke down. "How long has it been?" My voice was raspy and still broken from all the crying.

"A few hours. The sun is still up." She looked down at me. Wow, she is beautiful. "I want to show you something. Do you think you are up for a short trip?"

I nodded and got off of her. I straightened my clothes and hair. I know I look a mess from early. Lexa gets up and gently moves a loose strand of hair out of my face. She gives me a light smile and starts packing a small pack. I don't notice what she puts in the pack. I still felt numb and was out of it.

She leads me out of the tent. We left the village and headed towards the river. "I grew up in these woods before I left for Natblida training in Polis. I would sneak away to this location to find peace. Sometimes I still sneak away when I am in the area."

We made it to the river and she started walking upstream. We approach a waterfall. "I hope you do not mind getting wet. There is a cave behind the waterfall." She comes to the side of the waterfall. She reached out her hand for me to grab. When I grabbed it, I couldn't help but noticed how nice it felt to hold it. She pulled me against the rocks and I saw a small passageway behind the waterfall. As we walked it, the water splashed us.

I was shocked when I saw the cave. The waterfall reflected light through it. It was small but still big enough for both of us to stand up straight. The walls looked smooth to the touch. I reached up and touched the ceiling letting the cool, wet rock take away my pain.

Lexa walked me deeper into the cave and pulled out a small torch. I almost did not see where she pulled it from the wall. She grabbed something out of her pack and before I knew it she lit the torch. The light from the flame showed that the cave opened up. The sound of the waterfall was echoing through the caves but it was not as loud.

My jaw dropped slightly. "Wow, lexa, this is beautiful."

Lexa smiled "We can stay here as long as you want. I brought food and some art supplies also."

My eyes started to water again. "Thank you, Lexa."

I did not want to start crying again so I started to explore the open cavern. I noted that wall did not look as smooth like the section at the waterfall. I avoided the small edge that lead deeper into the cave system. I finally noticed Lexa in the middle of the cavern. She was at a spot that looked like it has been used for a camp site. The ground was stained with ashes. Small stones made a circle that contained the previous fires. There was a big, smooth rock and a log on each side of the fire pit.

I sat on the log so I could draw Lexa. She was lending back on the rock watching the fire. The light of the flames danced across her face. I had to try to capture her beauty.

I was doing finishing touches on my drawing when Lexa breaks the silence. "I lost someone special to me too. Her name was Costia. She was captured by Azegda who's Queen believed she knew my secrets because she was mine. They tortured her, killed her, cut off her head. I thought I'd never get over the pain. I convinced myself that love is weakness."

I did not know what to say. How can you stop caring for everybody? I could never do that. Love is not weakness. "I'm sorry, Lexa, but..."

"Clarke," she interrupted me, "you think our ways are harsh but that is how we survive."

I get off the log and kneel by her.  I look deep into her eyes. "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?"

"Maybe we do."

I saw her eyes flick down from my eyes to my lips. I couldn't help but do the same. I felt my heartbeat starting to pick up pace and butterflies forming in my stomach. I lean forward slightly. Lexa met me halfway. Our lips finally met.