To Love You Again | c.v

13

13 - NINA

"We need to talk, please," Joel begged the minute the door opened. It was only five in the afternoon so he knew Chris wouldn't be home. "I hate not talking to you. It feels horrible being away from you. Forget everything I said. I don't want to lose you."

Nina wasn't able to come up with a coherent sentence so she simply stepped aside to let him in. Truth was, she missed Joel too. It was weird not talking to him every morning when she ate breakfast or whenever she had her lunch break at work.  And the scary reality was that he was in her life more than her fiancé.

"Nina," he inhaled loudly. "I don't want to lose our friendship over my stupid confession. I wasn't thinking and I was being selfish."

"Oh," Nina gulped. "So you didn't mean it?"

His brown eyes told her that he did mean it. They were yearning for something that sadly couldn't happen and that feeling made him desperate. And though he didn't want to cause her any more confusion or pain, he couldn't hide his feelings for her. He would be honest but he wouldn't push her to leave Chris because, despite everything, that moron was his friend.

"I did," he whispered. "I meant every word I said but it's best we forget about it."

"You can't do that," Nina said feeling every emotion in her alter. "You can't expect everything to go back to normal after telling me you like me!"

"I know! I know I can't expect things to go back like they used to but I don't want to lose you."

"I don't think being friends is right. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care!" He bitterly chuckled. "I prefer that than not talking to you every day!"

"I don't wanna lose you either," Nina whispered weakly after a moment of silence.

The two stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Everything inside Nina was turning into putty and it was his fault. Why was she feeling this way? Why was her heart pumping like crazy and why was a pestering desire blossoming in the pit of her stomach?

"Joel..."

"I have to go." He said suddenly and she could see his nervous tick surfacing, leaving her confused.

"What? No, why?" Nina spluttered confused.

"I have to; I can't - I can't."

He was rushing to the door but an inexplicable force pushed Nina to him. She took him by the wrist and locked eyes with him.

"What's wrong? Why are you leaving?" She shakily questioned.

"Nina," he breathlessly groaned. "Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"Nothing, forget it."

He abruptly yanked his wrist from her and went for the doorknob. "You're right."

"Right?" She repeated with a nasty feeling in her mouth. "What am I right about?"

"We can't be friends."

This time it was Nina who didn't want to lose him. Was she being selfish? Maybe. But she didn't want to lose Joel. He meant so much to her; she couldn't imagine her life without him.