Breakable Heaven || Sanemi Shinazugawa x Female Reader

Chapter Five: Distraction

"Move it already, quit blocking the damn doorway!" Sanemi said as he nudged me to the side and entered casually, without a care in the world.

I hesitantly moved to let him pass before shutting the door behind me, making sure it was locked for our privacy (I swear it's really only because of that!).

Sanemi practically threw all of his belongings to the side, before laying down on the futon. It's not a surprise that with his height, he took up all of the available space. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes at him as I placed my things beside his in an orderly manner.

"Sanemi! Could you think of an excuse to tell the innkeeper?" I asked him almost pleadingly, to which he only glanced at me and shook his head, to my annoyance.

He turned to his side and looked directly at me before saying, "She's freaking afraid of me, and they'll be suspicious of us if we do request for that, wife."

I swallowed nervously and closed my eyes in frustration. I knew that, I just felt so out of control of the situation that I need to do something, anything.

How was I to survive this ordeal?

I sat down on the mat, facing him, before I frankly pointed out, "Then, you're alright with sharing a futon with me?"

He was silent for a few moments, and it was obvious that he was also thinking hard on what we should do. Sanemi closed his eyes with a loud sigh in resignation as he said, "You're fucking sharing a futon with me, wife."

My eyes widened in surprise at this, and Sanemi hastily added, "I'm not going to allow my feelings to cloud my judgment and jeopardize this mission. If Oyakata-sama orders us to pretend to be a married couple, then we should damn well do a good job of it."

I knew he'd say that.

I smiled despite myself and answered, "Of course, as expected from the wind hashira. I shall carry out my duty well, husband."

"But I'm taking a bath first. I still feel sweaty from our walk here," I added as I stood up and went to the little bathroom inside our room, carrying my things in my arm.

I almost slammed the bathroom door, the closest thing that I had to provide some privacy from Sanemi. I raked a hand through my hair, wondering what my course of action should be. Don't get me wrong, I know what my duties were. The problem was my own feelings. Sanemi had made it clear that he's going to be professional about it, and so, I should too.

We were in the middle of a mission, and I can't let myself get distracted by what I felt.

-

I stepped out of the bathroom a few moments later, drying my hair with a towel. I glanced at Sanemi (who still took up the whole futon), and saw that his eyes were closed.

It made me want to lean closer to him to lightly trace his scars, as I did before. It always seemed to calm him down whenever I did it, but I was no longer in the place to do so now.

Still, I refuse to sleep beside him until he's taken a shower.

I sat down beside him and nudged him gently, to no avail. I tried to push him a bit harder, but he slept like a rock (no offense to the stone hashira). I inwardly groaned, not knowing how to wake him up.

"Sanemi! Go and take a shower first," I told him, raising my voice a little.

He sighed and started to stir, and when he opened his eyes a second later, said in a rough voice, "I refuse."

"You're being extremely difficult! I refuse to share a futon with someone who hasn't showered!" I told him as my eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Sanemi actually chuckled before retorting, "But I'm your husband, right?"

"I'll throw you out of the room if you don't. Or perhaps...you want me to bathe you?" I asked him sweetly, wanting to rile him up.

Sanemi was up in an instant - he grabbed his things as he stood up and shut the bathroom door after him firmly.

'He's still as predictable as ever,' I thought as I laid down on the comfy futon.

_

I wondered if it was okay to rest on our first night, but apparently, Kagaya had told Sanemi that we should rest first and then survey the area the following morning, before patrolling discreetly by nightfall. That way, we'd have our energy back, as well as knowledge of the area we were at.

I hadn't noticed that Sanemi was out of the bathroom as I was lost in my thoughts. I only happened to glance at his direction, and saw him in all his glory, with only a small towel wrapped around his waist.

Sanemi looked smug as he asked haughtily, "You like what you see?"

I quickly turned to face the other side of the room and shot back, "As if! T-there's nothing to see! And quit imitating Uzui-san!"

We all know that that was a lie, at least, except from the fact that he was imitating Uzui.

I've seen him topless countless of times, of course, as he usually trained that way back at the headquarters. Even when he was in uniform, he leaves his top unbuttoned anyways. But this was different, especially since we were sharing a room. As well as a futon.

"Just scoot over," he said in a tired voice, and I figured that he was already done dressing up.

I did as I was told, but the futon was so small that when Sanemi laid down, our backs were pressed up against each other's at the proximity. I mentally noted that we haven't even slept beside each other even when we were still together, and it was so ironic that we're in this situation right after breaking up.

Very ironic indeed.

I heard him sigh heavily but didn't say anything, and I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep at all. I ended up staring at the wall, overly conscious that Sanemi was right behind me. Or was it beside? It doesn't matter - as long as he's nearby, my heart tends to go on overdrive.

I wanted to ask him a lot of things about our failed relationship - what went wrong, what wasn't enough, or if there was someone else. And yes, it's obvious that I still haven't moved on from him. He was my first, after all.

"I'll just sleep on the fucking mat. Rest your pretty head easy," Sanemi said coldly as I felt him stand up, the blanket moving to pool at my waist.

I shifted to face him as I said, "It's cold there, Sanemi. Be reasonable. I can't have you getting a cold on my watch."

Sanemi glared at me and answered, "We both know that we aren't comfortable sleeping beside each other, [Y/N]. I'm just doing what needs to be done."

"You mean what you want to be done?"

His glare hardened, if that was even possible, but I didn't stop as I argued, "I know you hate or probably even loathe me, but you won't be of any use if you get sick. I can't have a hashira weighing me down."

Sanemi suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me to him until our faces were mere inches apart. My surprise was evident on my face, and I suddenly found it hard to breathe, or move, for that matter.

"Don't ever fucking say that I'll weigh you down. For all I know, it's the reverse. Go to sleep before I do something I regret," Sanemi said in a low tone before he let me go harshly, and he ran a hand through his hair as he faced away from me.

Okay, so admit that I basically asked for that. I knew that I would trigger Sanemi by telling him that, but I still went ahead and said it. I had broken the fragile balance that we made ever since we arrived at this inn.

I crawled back to my side of the bed and brought up the blanket up to my chin as I softly said, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. But I won't ever be a hindrance to you."

I felt his heat on my back seconds later and was glad that despite him getting angry, he still did as I said.

But he didn't respond to my apology.