Regiphobia

The Together

"OK, open your eyes!" Juan said as they reached their destination. It had been just over a day since they played that song together in his study. Juan had been leading him somewhere for the past few minutes, and he was anxiously awaiting whatever it was.

As Goda opened his eyes and looked around, his mouth fell ever so slightly open. It was a very simple view, but he personally hadn't ever seen it. He thought it was beautiful.

It was the roof of the palace, but it was raining. Juan had set up little fairy lights around the area. Normally Gabe would have just held him inside so he didn't ruin whatever he was wearing. The water was landing on the leaves, glistening in the light around them. It was chilly from the wind, but... nice.

"C'mon!" Juan took Goda's hand, smiling wide. Goda nodded as he was gently pulled out to the roof. The rain hit him for the first time in over three years and all he could do was smile. However, Juan started talking, so he had to set that aside for the time being.

"I always thought it looked best up here when it's raining," Juan looked down at Goda, whose eyes were practically sparkling at the moment.

"...It's b-beautiful," Goda looked back at the other, "Th-Thanks for bringing me out here."

"Of course!" Juan said, lightly squeezing Goda's hand, "Oh! I had an idea when I thought of coming out here, wanna hear it?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Weeeeeell," Juan pulled out a small music player, luckily in a waterproof case, "I talked to a friend of mine that had a case they didn't use anymore that can keep the water out, so I was wondering if you'd want to dance with me?"

"I'd love to!" Goda smiled even wider than he had been before. Juan seemed to brighten up at that. He set up the music player and a song Goda had never heard before began to play. He set his crutches down as Juan held out his hands to him. He had to rest on one foot, but as an arm wrapped around his waist, it wasn't too hard. He looked into Juan's eyes as the music swelled around them.

Juan started to lead. Goda tried his best to follow, but even without a broken leg he'd never been the most graceful. He slipped up several times, but neither of them seemed to care. They were too wrapped up in the freedom being out there, away from cameras, away from anyone else who could stop them, together.

Juan started quietly humming along to the music as he pulled Goda a little closer to him by his waist. He was a good dancer, which didn't seem to surprise Goda at all. They stood together, moved together, for what felt like it could only have been a matter of minutes but was, in reality, around half an hour. They seemed to get lost not only in the movements they were making, but also in the small words they'd mutter to each other every so often.

From Juan's quiet laughs and reassurances when Goda tripped or stumbled to the "I love you"s that came out in less than a whisper, every word was cherished as if it were a thousand. Every moment was held between them like it was a gift, every move a miracle, every smile and each note on the device an amazing bit of magic.

As songs brushed by, switching out for others every few minutes, they seemed to drift off into their own personal world. Moving ever closer with every second, they ignored the reality. They let the limited time and the fear they both held fade away.

It was at this moment that Goda realized something. Weeks ago, it had to have been a month by now, his fiancé had held him in his arms and lead him in a dance. What about this was so different? If anything, shouldn't this have been worse? Gabe had given him a gorgeous ballroom, a live orchestra, practiced, formal dances, and yet... this impromptu event on the rooftop, drenched in rain, with music through a box of wires and dances simply attempted rather than perfected was everything Goda could have asked for.

As he looked up into the emerald eyes he saw in his most beautiful dreams, and as he felt the adoration the other held for him, he had an idea as to why this was different. There were no apologies. No promises that would certainly be broken. Nothing Juan was making up for.

Juan.

That was the difference every time, wasn't it? It was always Juan. Every happy memory, every moment cherished so dearly, every event held close to his chest. It was Juan, every single time, since they'd started this endeavor. Juan was what made him happy. Not what they talked about, not the affection he gave him, not the compliments he seemed to love showering on him, not even what they spent time doing. It was Juan, plain and simple.

When thunder cracked in the distance, Goda jumped slightly. He pressed himself against Juan's chest, looking in the direction he'd seen the flash of light coming from. Juan laughed quietly, wrapping his arms around the other. "Scared of thunder?" he asked.

Goda nodded, "A l-little..."

"C'mon, let's head back inside before you jump out of your skin," Juan left a light kiss on his cheek before handing him his crutches, turning off the music, and walking with him to the door.

Juan and Goda were careful not to run into anyone and to get on camera as little as possible as they made it back to the latter's room.