Regiphobia

The Verdict

The trial continued on. Goda kept his eyes on the table, but he couldn't help but notice how unprofessional and aggressive his dad's lawyer seemed. Moto was cold and calculating. The other, heated and angry the entire time. He called the head guard, Goda didn't remember his name, to the stand, and the cross-examination went much better than the direct one.

Moto then called Juan up to the stand. He simply asked what he had seen before and after the incident. Goda didn't really pay attention to anything other than the fact that Juan was standing up for him. In the cross-examination, he answered seemingly the opposite of how the lawyer expected him to, messing up his questions and case. When Juan went back to his post, Goda relaxed a little.

Up next, the king himself. Gabe walked up, dropping Goda's hand. Goda noticed a pen on the table. He picked it up and started sketching on a post-it note. Anything to take his mind off the questions and answers and whispers behind him, and the voice in his head that wasn't his telling him just how terrible he really was.

Gabe eventually came and sat back down beside him. He moved his hand over Goda's, the one that was drawing, forcing him to stop accidentally. He went to just holding hands, feeling antsy and needing a distraction but unable to get one. He didn't pay attention to the judge telling the room that there would be a brief break before the verdict. He didn't pay attention to Moto speaking quietly to Gabe. He didn't pay attention to Richard's hateful gaze on him, or Juan's loving one.

Pathetic, weak, useless shit.

That voice, he did pay attention to. The one that always seemed to be in his ear. The one he couldn't get away from. The one inside his own head.

Everyone went quiet, but Goda didn't listen as the judge started to speak. He couldn't focus on the words in the air, even as the judge sentenced his father. To what? He couldn't listen. His dad's eyes were wide, though, and Gabe had a disconcerting smile on his face. Richard was pulled out of the courtroom, and Goda could hear one statement from the judge.

"The execution will take place in two days time."

Well, that cleared everything up, but Goda still felt off. It was like he was zoned out and couldn't zone back in. Gabe had him stand and brought him out of the room with an arm around his shoulders.

Goda just wanted to curl up and stare at a wall for a while. He didn't want to have to try and be a person. He heard Gabe talking, but he didn't register the words. Gabe was bringing him towards his room, but it was hard to focus on the directions. Up the elevator, across the floor, into his room. Into pajamas, into his bed, Gabe on the edge of it and running a hand through his hair as he stared at a wall and slowly drifted to sleep.

Gabe smiled down at his fiancé's sleeping figure. Soon to be husband. Just, what, a month and a week? He stood, making sure Goda's crutches were easy to get to when he woke up, then left the room. He made his way down to the basement, then down one more level. Through the halls of empty calls, straight to Richard's. He was let in, and the man looked a real mess. He seemed completely shocked, eyes wide and staring. He was facing death after all. Gabe couldn't suppress a smile at the sight.

"Now do you see what I'm capable of?" Gabe asked.

"...I'm going to die," Richard mumbled sounding like he was slightly in denial. Gabe chuckled as he turned and started to leave, knowing there was nothing left for him here. Richard said nothing.

Gabe went back upstairs, passing by a few guards he didn't pay attention to. One of which was Juan, making his way back to his bedroom. He didn't talk to anyone on the way, just heading in and sitting on the edge of the bed. He sighed, resting his head in his hands. This was all so fucking stressful.

José looked over at his brother, "What's on your mind?"

"The trial just ended," Juan sighed, lifting his head and turning to Jose.

"And?"

"Richard dies in two days.'

José hesitated, then nodded. That was... intense.

"I just want to get my mind off it," Juan sighed, "What were you doing?"

José had hidden the letter he was writing under his blanket. "Not much. Just sitting, really."

Juan sighed, falling back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. José watched his brother. That red-headed twink was doing no good for him, but how was he supposed to convince him of that? He decided not to try. Not now. Maybe another day.

"Do you have any shifts today?" Juan asked.

"Yeah, in just a few minutes, actually," José nodded.

"Could I take it? I don't have anything for another hour and I just need to think of something else."

José was hesitant to say yes. He didn't deserve the rest. But... he did want to finish his letter. He sighed, saying, "Fine. I'm set to be stationed outside that red-head's door in just a few minutes."

Juan's eyes lit up and he shot into a sitting position. "Why didn't you tell me sooner! Now I have to take it! Thanks, Hermangran!"

Another mood switch. José just nodded. Juan hopped up, leaving the room and, hopefully, starting upstairs.

José was left in their room alone. He pulled out the paper he'd been writing on, reading what he'd done so far.

Arial,
Thanks for the offer, but I doubt I'll ever be able to come see you, what with my work. I'll see if I can get in the group set to be with you when the wedding comes around, so I can translate. It'll be nice to see you.

He erased that last sentence before going back to writing. Just answering questions she'd asked him, asking some of his own. Eventually, he got to the end.

Sincerely, José.

He paused, then erased it.

- José

Better. He folded the paper, putting it into an envelope. He got up and started to the stairs, then across to the mailroom or the second time that day, the first being for the envelope and paper. He wrote the address Arial had given him on the back, then slipped it in the outgoing mail slot. He sighed as the sound of it sliding away faded, eventually stopping. He started back towards his room.

He couldn't let himself have feelings for Arial. That wasn't an option. He couldn't be the reason a reigning monarch died. He couldn't let his curse get in the way.

First his parents and friends back in Boiro.

Then Maria, the girl he loved so long ago.

Then, almost, Juan.

Arial couldn't be next.