Regiphobia

The Plea

"Wait, how long did you just say?" Juan blinked in surprise, eyes on his lover's face. It had been two days since he'd gotten Mikael and Amuyu to go on a date, and now he was sitting in Goda's study with the other in his arms.

"Uh... A y-year and a half? Maybe?" Goda said.

"So you haven't left the palace in more than a year?! That's insane!"

"I went t-to the airport a couple times, to see G-Gabe off," Goda argued.

"Goda, that hardly counts! You haven't gotten to see any of your old friends, you haven't gotten to go out and talk with people, you haven't gotten to go to new places?"

"I... d-don't really have any 'old friends,'" Goda mumbled, "But no, I haven't."

"You've never gone with the king wherever he goes when he's off on business?"

Goda shook his head again. Juan seemed absolutely flabbergasted. That couldn't be possible, could it? That Goda had been within these walls for so long? Even Juan and his brother, the guards who didn't have a choice to leave, unless they wanted to be forced back into that horrible camp, had left more than that. Mostly while guarding an official, but they'd gone nevertheless. But Goda...

"When was the last time?" Juan asked.

"Um... Gabe took me with him to a p-parade thing after he was coronated," Goda said.

"The coronation was the last time? Jesus- It can't be good for you to be cooped up in here!" Juan said, taking the other's hands.

"I'm used t-to it," Goda shrugged.

"Used to it doesn't mean it's OK," Juan moved one hand to Goda's cheek, "Is there any way to get out of here for a while?"

"Not... really? Not without asking a b-bunch of people and planning f-for like a month, and with the wedding coming up everyone's all c-caught up with that, so it'd be like three months anyway, and I d-dunno if Gabe would even let me-" Goda cut himself off as soon as he realized what he'd said.

"Why wouldn't he? He doesn't control you, not that much, right?" Juan said, dropping his hand.

"...Yeah," Goda lied through his teeth. He hated himself for it.

"Then just ask! I'm sure he'll get things set up!" Juan checked his watch, "I have to get going anyway. Are you free tonight at six?"

"N-No, they want me to help plan some stuff f-for the wedding after dinner," Goda sighed, "See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," Juan left a light kiss on Goda's temple before running off. Goda sighed before sitting down against the wall by the door of his study.

He knew Gabe would probably say no. Probably. He told himself it was just the other being protective of him, he knew there were people in the country that hated him. Some men were mad at him for taking away their chance at marrying Gabe, and some women were mad at him for the same reason even though they weren't even in the running. Some people hated him because they believed Gabe should have married someone from a lower class, and some believed he should have married someone of a higher one. Some people even hated him because he and Gabe were both men. Despite all the progress on the whole homophobia front, he was still sometimes scared to leave his house back when he didn't know Gabriel.

But, deep in his mind, part of him reminded him that overall, people liked him as a soon to be Prince Consort. When Gabe had finally been able to introduce him to the public as his fiancé, making an announcement to the public with a huge crowd gathered in the courtyard out front, people had been cheering. Despite knowing from the media coverage and the footage from his birthday, people seemed ecstatic. He'd seen signs.

People had liked him.

For the first time in his life, he'd felt like people he didn't personally know actually cared. For the first time in his life, he was accepted. He belonged somewhere. When he'd seen a family off to one side holding up a sign that said "Long Live the Prince Consort," he'd wanted to cry tears of joy. He almost had, in fact. But Gabe had held him against his side, and he just smiled and waved like he was told to. He had watched the crowd.

Then he'd looked up at Gabe.

Goda stood back up, taking a deep breath. He grabbed his crutches and made his way out of his study. He walked to his fiancé's study, knocking lightly on the door.

"Come in," he heard from the inside. He cracked the door open just a little before walking inside.

"Ah, Goda," Gabe smiled at him, standing up, "What are you here for?"

"Um... I j-just... wanted to ask something," he said, somewhat quietly and very nervously.

"And what might that be?" Gabe walked over, taking one of his hands.

"W-Well... I realized it's b-been a while since I left the castle and I was wondering if- Maybe- We c-could go out somewhere at some point?" he asked.

Gabe just...laughed. "But we already have our honeymoon, or does that not count for you?"

Goda blinked in surprise, "Oh- You never t-told me."

"I did. We're taking a honeymoon to the United Islands of the Caribbean, remember?" Gabe raised an eyebrow.

"N-No, you-"

"Goda, we both know how unreliable your memory can be. I told you when we were talking in your room about me leaving on a business trip."

Goda just looked up at him, slowly being consumed by the feeling of being lost.

Am I forgetting? But I thought- no, he's right, my memory's bad, I should just-

"Yeah... p-probably... I'm sorry," Goda said, looking down.

Gabe wrapped his arms around him, "It's alright my love. Just try not to forget this time, alright?" He gave a quiet laugh. "I'll do the remembering for the both of us if I have to."

"Y-Yeah..." Goda said softly, leaning against Gabe.

"Now, would you like to have dinner in my sitting room tonight?" Gabe moved one hand to tilt the other male's head up.

"Um... I'm not f-feeling hungry... sorry..." Goda mumbled, "I'm j-just gonna go to my room and lay down..."

"...Fine. I'll see you later tonight," Gabe said, tone making Goda tense up as he walked back to his desk. Goda turned and left the study with a sigh, head down.

He didn't remember Gabe telling him about the honeymoon. He really didn't, but if Gabe said he had... He didn't feel like he could trust his own head sometimes. Plus, with his flashes of hallucinations, he might have just... gotten rid of it? If that was possible? He didn't know, but it was the only thing that made sense to him.

He did as he said he would, not wanting to upset Gabe more than he already had. He went to his room, laying down and staring at the wall. He decided he would stay right there until he had to go downstairs and help with whatever they wanted for the wedding.