can i be close to you ~ boreo

part fifteen

i couldn't believe it. my heart skipped a beat. i thought my eyes were deceiving me, but it was true. boris was kissing another guy, right in front of me.

"everything okay? you're as white as a sheet..." i didn't budge or say anything, but she shook my arm.

"i need some air. let's go." i turned back around and went back outside where me and scarlett were. she came with me. she was talking but i couldn't hear what she was saying.

when we finally got outside i went straight to where we were before we went back inside. by the road.

scarlett sat down beside me. she pulled some of her long hair out of her mouth.

"was that him? what happened? did i miss something?" nothing seemed real anymore.

"theo please talk to me." she said after she took another swig of her beer. a car finally passed by. it was a white sedan, just like my moms. now i really missed my mom, more than i had in a while.

"i don't even care if you look at me different," i started.

"what?"

"but might as well be honest. think what you want of me, say what you want about me, i don't care, but that was boris. and boris... he's my boyfriend."

why i just told her that, i don't know. i had to tell her. i felt like i could trust her, but with all the bullies and homophobes anything was possible now that someone knew.

"oh my god..." she said quietly. "theo, i'm so... sorry. that really sucks."

"did you hear what i said?" i asked, looking at her. she furrowed her eyebrows.

"yeah of course i did, what do you mean?"

"so you don't think it's weird i'm dating a guy?"

"why would that be weird? there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. or gay. or whatever. i support little dude. that's why i feel bad, cause i saw them together. worst part is i know the guy he was kissing." she said, ending it with a sigh.

"you-you do?"

"yep. charles sandberg (i just made something up). he kind of looks like you too. only a little though." i watched her pull a box out of her pocket. they were cigarettes.

"want one?" she asked, offering one to me while pulling out a lighter. well i still haven't managed to meet someone that doesn't smoke.

"yes, please. thank you." i told her, taking it. she lit both of ours, and there we sat, smoking.

another car passed by, well, truck. couldn't tell what color since it was so dark. boris preferred trucks over cars.

god i couldn't do this. it was too much. i couldn't hold back tears anymore. the boy whom i was so deeply in love with is currently cheating on me.

i dropped the cigarette, only puffed it about three times so it was wasted, and brought my legs up to my chest. i buried my face into my knees and sobbed. i couldn't help it.

scarlett wrapped her arm around me and hugged me.

"i'm sorry theo, i'm sorry." she said, rubbing my back. all of mine and boris' memories were rushing to me at once.

was it going to end here? how much was my life about to change? what was going to happen now?

there was nobody like boris. boris was different than everyone, and that's why i loved him. because even whilst he had so many faults, i never cared. i always told myself fuck, who cares? he may have bruised me many nights, introduced me to drugs, stolen things from me, but nonetheless i never stopped being his best friend. i thought he was perfect.

all at once i stopped crying. i felt dead. just purely emotionless. boris was really the only reason i was still here on this planet, and now he didn't care about me from the looks of it.

"you good now?" scarlett asked me when she noticed i stopped crying. i sniffled.

"n-no not really. i just dont wanna be at this party anymore... i don't think i can cry anymore anyways." i saw her nod from the corner of my eye.

"how far do you live from here?" she asked.

"not close to be honest." whenever the school bus was dropping people off near here we got off here too and just waited until the party started. now thinking about it, how would've me and boris got home?

"that's fine. i took my dads car here. i can take you home if you like." i was super thankful for scarlett right about now.

"are you sure? can you drive even?" she laughed a little.

"of course, i didn't have enough beers to be too drunk, we'll be fine. cmon!" i didn't even consider that, i was mainly talking about drivers license.

i took a deep breath and sighed. where was boris gonna go? was he gonna walk back to my house?

shit. no. he shouldn't. but i shouldn't be worried about him, he's not worried about me.

we walked back into the house. the crowd died down a little more again. i kept my head down low, trying not to see boris.

"potter!" i heard from the distance. i wanted to hug him and punch him at the same time. it would've been so much better if he didn't have to screw everything up.

i started to pick up my walking pace, he was probably gonna follow me out the door, unless we hurried.

we finally came to the front of the house. happily, i exited. so did scarlett.

"ok so which car do we go into?" i asked, looking around quickly. i turned around to see her, she was also turned around to the door.

"um theo—" boris bursted through the door.

"move," he sloppily pushes scarlett out of his way. i rolled my eyes "potter what are you doing?" i didn't reply. scarlett was looking at both of us.

startled, there was a car noise. i turned around and saw a cars (it was too dark to tell the color) headlights blink twice. i turned back to scarlett. she nodded, hence the car was hers.

not saying a word to boris i walked over to the car. he grabbed my arm.

"where are you going?" he asked. he was obviously drunk. "the party isn't over!"

"let go of me boris." i jerked my arm away from him.

"eh? what'd i do?" he ran up to me and wrapped his arms around me from behind. i blinked back faint tears.

"boris." i heard scarlett say. boris turned around, and i broke free from his grasp.

"how do you know my name. do you know this girl potter?" scarlett came over to me, then to the car. i followed.

"woah woah what is happening? why am i being ignored? what'd i do?" i felt a tear trickle down my cheek. i tried to open the car door. locked.

"shit hold on theo" she fiddled with the keys.

"potter stop! where are you going?! answer me!" he was behind me. i felt him put a hand on my hip. i turned around and slapped him. scarlett gasped.

"stop it, boris. okay? just, stop! i saw you. kissing that guy!!" now i was full on crying again.

he was rubbing his cheek, and furrowed his eyebrows.

"what are you talking about potter?" i heard the car click. the door was unlocked.

"hey, no, stop! can we talk? i'm so confused!! don't leave potter, how am i suppose to get home!" i felt really bad, but at the same time i didn't.

whenever i tried to shut the door, i couldn't. boris was holding the handle. his eyes were glistening. he was upset too.

"fuck you boris." i said quietly, slamming the door shut. i turned to scarlett. "let's go."