Happily ever hookup. (Book #2)

28 "He'll know you're here"

"I'm so sorry Emily" Tara hugs me tightly against her chest. "So sorry" She repeats as she rubs a soothing hand over my back.

I feel numb, completely and utterly numb.

"Everything will be okay Emily, I promise" Devon says but I can't find it in me to believe him.

Everytime those words are uttered, something bad always happens.

"Are you okay?" Tara adds as I slowly pull away from her.

I don't know, honestly. How can I be okay?

My dad had a stroke. It's severe and I've been warned by the doctors that he most likely won't make it through the night.

"I'm tired" 

"You should go home and rest" Aunt Karen suggests but I shake my head, I'm not going anywhere.

"I'm staying here. I'm not letting him be alone when..."

I start to sob, my words getting lost in amongst my tears.

My dad is dying. Before morning, I most likely won't have him here anymore. I'm going to spend as much time with him as possible.

"We'll stay with you, if you want?" Tara offers and I nod gratefully.

I don't know how to function, my body on auto pilot. I could really do with a cuddle from Hunter right now.

"You should go home, see to Rachel." I tell Aunt Karen. "Uncle Stephens probably burning a salad as we speak"

"You're probably right" She says "but I don't want to leave you Emily, will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine, I'll call you if you're not back before anything happens."

"We'll look after her" Devon says rubbing my arm and I smile warmly at him.

As shit as everything is, I'm glad I have my friends to help me.

"Okay" Aunt Karen relents. "I'll be no longer than an hour sweetheart, I promise."

She kisses me on the cheek and pulls me into a tight hug before rushing down the hospital corridor.

"I'm going to go see my dad, can someone let Hunter know what's going on?"

"I've just spoke to him, he said he's going to call you" Devon informs me and I nod once.

"Thanks" I say before going to my dads room.

The sight before me breaks my heart, my dad, my best friend, the man who taught me to make a mean Italian pasta and terrible jokes, lies there, wires and tubes connected to almost every part of his face and body.

The doctors have told me he probably wont wake up again but even if he does it will be for seconds and he won't be aware of anything happening around him.

It's probably for the best really, I can't imagine what it would be like to know you're going to die.

The only time I ever felt close to that was prom and somehow, I talked myself through it. I told myself that everything would be okay and surprisingly, I believed it.

This time though, it's not as simple as that. No amount of self encouragement or words are going to change the outcome of this situation. My dad is going to die.

I sit on the chair beside his bed and hold his hand, it's a little cold so I cover both our hands with the bed sheets. I rub my thumb around in circles, hoping he knows that I'm here.

"Emily, " my mothers voice comes out strangled from the doorway but I don't even look up at her. "I came as soon as I heard."

I nod once but stay silent. I want to scream at her that she has no right to be here, I want to tell her she can't just come here pretending to care after all this time but I don't. I know, despite everything, my dad would want her here.

My mom was the only woman he ever loved, right to the end. Even when she abandoned us, he always believed she would come back.

My mother sits down in the chair opposite mine and stares at my dad, he looks pale and so, so vulnerable.

"How long-"

"They don't think he'll make it through the night" I tell her and I hear a strained cry escape her.

I look up at her for the first time since she entered and I realise just how broken she looks. She looks like she hasn't stopped crying for days.

"He'll know you're here" I lie. I know I shouldn't want to comfort her, but despite everything she's done and no matter how much she's hurt me, she's still my mom.

This seems to bring her some sort of comfort and a small smile graces her face so I go back to ignoring her and concentrate on my dad.

My phone buzzes from my bra and I retrieve it immediately, craving any sort of contact with Hunter.

9.23pm Hunter:

I'm so sorry baby, I'll be home as soon as I can. I love you.

I'm a little disappointed he didn't call but he's probably already on his way here if I know Hunter like I think I do.

My whole life is one big drama.

I'm tired of being upset and worrying, I've just got engaged to the love of my life, I should be enjoying it, actually living with my fiance rather than in different fucking states and I shouldn't have to worry about what big thing is going to try and break me next.

I'm very aware I sound like a selfish bitch but it's true, maybe I'm a lot more like my mom than I thought.

I hear a small grunt from my dad and stand up immediately, my heart racing a million miles an hour. "Dad, Can you hear me? It's Emily" I tell him hopefully but he doesn't answer.

I know what the doctors said but I have to tell him how I feel. I need him to know, even if he doesn't hear it.

"I love you dad, so much."

I take a deep breath before continuing, well aware of the woman watching me carefully from the other side of the bed, her own tears silently falling.

"I want you to know that you're my hero and that no matter what, I'm going to be okay, you raised a strong woman." A tear slips down my right cheek but I swipe it away. "You've been amazing these past few years, everything was a struggle for you but you got on with it, even when I could tell you wanted to give up"

I take a deep breath preparing myself for the next words to leave my lips. "You can go now daddy, be happy and at peace"

That's all I can wish for. I don't want him to be in pain, or confused or scared anymore. I want him to be free and at peace from this shitty life and this awful disease that took a hold of him.

"I love you daddy, always." It barely comes out as a whisper but I remain strong, kissing him on the forehead and sitting back down.