Happily ever hookup. (Book #2)

19 "Please don't hate me."

Three days he's been gone and I still haven't spoken to him. When my phone lights up for the tenth time in the last half hour, I eventually turn it off. I can't be bothered to fight anymore.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen, I want us to be okay, this is Hunter, the love of my life, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm not going to let him carry on hurting me the way he is.

"Emily" Aunt Karen says distracting me. I blink a few times and smile apologetically.

"Sorry," I say "I spaced for a minute."

"I understand" She responds, pity is written clearly on her face and I hate it.

I found out yesterday, after an in-depth conversation with Aunt Karen that she did know my mother was back.

I'm disappointed and upset that she didn't tell me but I understand she was just trying to protect me.

"You and Hunter will be okay, " Karen tells me and I hope and pray she's right, I don't know if I'll survive without Hunter by my side.

I never expected him to go back to New York, when I told him to leave I never for a second thought he would actually go.

I was mad at the time and I didn't want him anywhere near me, I just wanted some space, I didn't expect him to give me it.

"I know" I attempt a smile but it's forced and awkward. "Do you know where she is?" I ask wanting to change the subject to anything but Hunter and me.

She knows I'm talking about my mom without having to ask, she nods.

I bite my lip, I've been thinking a lot about her recently, why she left? Why didn't she call or even just let me know she was okay? All these thoughts have been spinning around my head, not just since she came back, but since she left. At least once a day I've asked myself why she did what she did and left me when I needed her the most.

I have to admit I'm intrigued by what she has to say.

"Do you want to see her?" Karen asks and I shrug. I'm not even sure. "Nobody could blame you if you did. You have questions that need answering."

Before I even realise it, I'm breaking down, my head falling into my hands and tears falling freely down my face. "I hate her Karen. I hate her" I sob, my chest restricting at the words I never thought I would say.

"I know sweetheart" She cooes lightly as she wraps me in her arms. She lets me cry until I can't cry anymore, my eyes feel heavy and swollen and I'm sure I look a total mess.

Her white, floral shirt is soaking wet with my tears, but she doesn't seem to mind.

I sniffle when I eventually pull away, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my top. "Thank you," I tell her sincerely. She's the only family I have left, I'm grateful she's here for me.

"Don't thank me, Emily, I love you." She states making me smile. "Why don't you call Hunter? I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

"I can't," I tell her. "Not yet." I want to, I really do but I won't let him know how messed up I am, he's stressing out enough without adding my drama to his list. "I don't want to burden him"

"Maybe that's the problem, you're both keeping things from each other in the hopes that you can deal with it yourself, but in the end, you need each other to get through it."

I think about her words for a second and it finally clicks, Hunter isn't keeping things from me to hurt me, he's doing it because he thinks it's for the best.

"You're not a burden Emily. Far from it. Hunter loves you with everything he has, there nothing he wouldn't try to help you with" she rubs my hand softly with her fingertips before letting go and standing gently from her seat. "I'm going to make a pot of coffee, I'll be right back."

I pull out my phone and turn it on, another three texts pop up from Hunter.

11.02am Hunter:

Please talk to me. You're being stubborn.

11.04am Hunter:

I'm so sorry for everything Emily, when I proposed I promised to make you happy for the rest of our lives and right now I'm not doing that. I know I'm a selfish prick but please just answer your phone or at least text me back. This radio silence is killing me.

Even his texts sound desperate. If I didn't need him so much right now, I would reply with something sassy about how he should have thought about that before basically shutting me out, but I don't. I need to hear him and tell him I love him, I don't care if he doesn't open up to me as long as he's there for me when I need to vent.

I'd rather him talk to me than fucking little miss perfect he works with but if he feels more comfortable doing that, drunk or not, then I'm fine with it.

I don't bother to read the third text from him, I click call and it rings once before he answers.

"Em"

"Uhm, hey." I sound awkward as fuck, Hunter and I haven't been like this since we were friends with benefits, fuck buddies or whatever you want to call it.

I hear his small sigh on the other side of the phone and I imagine his beautiful eyes closing. "I hate this." He admits and I chuckle softly.

"Me too"

"I miss you, Emily, I've been sitting here with my phone in my hand, wishing you would call," he says.

"I've been talking to Karen, she made me realise some things" I respond, my fingers shaking slightly, I don't know why I'm so nervous, its just Hunter. This man knows everything there is to know about me, when I'm scared or moody, when I need a hug and when I need to be left alone, he knows how to make me laugh and what to do when I'm worried. Nobody knows me better than him.

"You fucked up Hunter"

"Please don't hate me" He sounds so conflicted, so broken and I want to wrap my arms around him.

"I could never hate you, I was angry, I'm sorry for being a bitch."

"You have every right to be." He says and I know he genuinely thinks so.

"You fucked up, but I'm not mad anymore" I admit. How could I possibly be mad at him for doing what he thinks is right?

"I'm ready to tell you now, Emily. All of it. I couldn't before, but I want to show you that no matter what, you always come first." He says rushed "You and our relationship is and always will be my first priority, "

I smile at his words. The last few days have been hell for me, and him by the sounds of it.

"Please, come to New York" He begs and I feel my heart beat faster. I'm glad he wants to see me just as much as I want to see him.

"I can't," I say and I hear something bang through the line, I think he punches something. I roll my eyes but continue. "I'm going to see my mom, " I inform him. Though its something I've been thinking about for a while, its a split decision made on the spot.

I need to see her. Even if I do feel the need to punch her in the face.

"I'll come with you if you want." Hunter offers and I shake my head.

"It's fine. It won't take long." I feel like this is something I need to do alone. If need be, I can confide in Hunter after. "As soon as I'm done there though, I'm jumping on the first plane to see you," I tell him with a smile.

The thought excites me. I need to kiss him and feel his hands on me, I need to know that we're okay, words just aren't enough for me.

"I can't wait," He says. "I love you, Squirt"

"I love you too." I return. "I'll see you soon"

I don't want to hang up, but I know I have to. My mother isn't going anywhere unfortunately but I would rather get this over and done with.

"See you soon" Hunter responds, I can hear the small smile in his tone and it instantly lifts me as the line goes dead.