Why Me?

7. What Makes You Happy?

You don't have to tell me, that it was stupid to run from him like I did yesterday. In my heart I knew, it was myself being childish. However the last thing I wanted, was for anyone to see. No scratch that. The last thing I ever want HIM to see, is me crying.

Currently I was laying on my bed in the early morning, my eyes staring up at the ceiling above me. I could see faint cracks in the paint, however not nearly as bad as our last place. A deep heavy sigh escapes me. I knew exactly what day it was today, "maybe he forgot..." I whispered to myself quietly, as I slowly sat up from my bed.

However knowing him. He didn't.

Walking across my room, I make it to the hallway. It was silent down the stairs. Knowing full well mom was most likely still sleeping, last thing I wanted was to wake her up.

Entering my bathroom, I removed my sleeping shirt and boxers from my slim pale body. Starting the shower, I then step into the hot steaming water. The heat felt heavenly against my cold skin. Making it quick, I washed up then turned off the water. Reaching for a towel, I rubbed it along my skin, before wrapping it around my slim waist. Stepping from the shower tub, I stand before the mirror eyeing my own reflection.

"Even if he was attracted to guys..."

My blue eyes looked to my hair. My black roots were starting to show through faintly, I was in need of another home dye job. My bright red hair stood out from my pale skin. My eyes went to my chest down to my waist.

"I am far from being anything special. I would never catch the eyes of a guy like him."

Compared to him, I looked so fragile. Almost as if you were to touch me in the wrong way, I would break and shatter. My eyes went to my bare arms, the haunting memories of my past catching my eyes.

"What would he do if he saw these..." My whisper was faint, as I traced the scars on my left arm with my fingers.

"Damn it, stop thinking of him! He isn't gay. He likes girls. Bitchy stuck up girls." I snapped at myself, how I hated that my mind kept going back to him. "Who the bloody hell cares what he would think!" My eyes glance once more to the mirror, even I could see the pain showing in my own bright eyes.

"Please, just please let him forget what today is." Pleading softly, as I knew I would not be able to handle being alone with him. Especially in my own home.

...

Once I was dressed in my traditional clothing, I left the house for school. It was another hot sunny day. However that didn't stop me from wearing a light long sleeved shirt, with my black sweater over top of it. With music blasting in my ears, I sighed when I found myself out front of the school.

Grumbling under my breath, I walk inside the building. My head was down, making my way along the hall towards my locker.

Ignoring the students around me, my head lifts up and I freeze in my spot. There he was, leaning up against my locker. Dressed in dark blue jeans, with once again his white button up shirt. His dark blue vest hanging opened on his form, I loved his style of clothing. It was so different compared to the other guys here. His arms were crossed across his chest, helping to show off his muscles that were visible through his attire. With eyes closed, his back rested right on my locker. Gazing to his profile, he looked calm. His grown shaggy hair lightly falling across his face.

Looking down to the floor, a soft groan escapes my lips. "Why, why must you be so bloody perfect." Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I make my way right towards him. "You're in my way! Move." The words came out slightly harsher than I intended. His brown eyes flew open, as he noticed me standing before him.