Why Me?

12. Until You're Ready

Once Ryuu emptied the entire box, all the books now stood on my bookcase. Watching him, he holds the now empty box out towards me. Taking it into my hands, I stare into it for a moment. Before slowly and silently, I break it down so that it is now flat. Going to my closet, I pull the door opened as I place the empty folded up cardboard inside of it. 

Closing the closet, my back rests against the door as I whisper out softly. "Seven years." My eyes meet Ryuu's gaze. "That was the first box I have unpacked, in about seven years."

Still gazing into his deep brown gaze, he spoke softly. "Hika, if you allow me to help you. Then I will help you to unpack every box."

The words he spoke, it all made my heart skip a beat and race in my chest. Rubbing my left arm unconsciously, I whisper in an unsure tone. "Are you positive? You really want to be with someone like me Ryuu? I mean, you don't know anything about my struggles or my painful past." 

"In time I hope to learn everything there is to know about you, as long as you are willing to let me in." Walking closer to me, my eyes follow his movements. "I don't want to keep pretending anymore, I am done hiding the truth from myself." Slowly he extended his hand towards me, I wanted to grasp onto it immediately but I didn't move yet. "Hika, I am ready and willing to make that jump. Will you?"

My heart pounded madly in my chest. This is what I have wanted for years, a guy to say all of this to me. And here I was, actually living it out now. "What if I fall." My whisper came out a little uneasy as my eyes stared at his hand.

He smiled gently at my words, "Then I will be there to catch you. I won't ever let you fall and get hurt." Reaching out I gently place my much smaller hand into his. "Hika." My body was pulled towards his as he hugged me in a tight embrace. 

His hugs were so welcoming. Clinging onto him, my face once more nuzzled against his chest. "I love your hugs." Whispering softly, I made no move to let go.

"I enjoy hugging you, holding you." He replied back as he gazed down at me softly. "I have never felt happier, since I met you." There he goes again, making my heart skip and race madly in my chest once more. Feeling his hot breath against my ear, as he bent down to whisper to me quietly. "Should I leave for the night?" His voice was soft and deep. The way his lips brushed against my earlobe made my body shiver madly.

"N-no, stay p-please." My answer left my lips in a soft shy stutter. I wasn't stupid, him staying I know what that meant.

As he held me, he must of glanced to my door at his next words. "What if your mother, uhh comes up here?" Knowing he was scared of being caught by my mom, it was actually adorable.

"Trust me, she won't." A tiny laugh escaped my lips. "She has been waiting for so long for me to bring a guy home."

"Have you, uhh done this before with another guy?" He asked nervously.

"Yes, in my past I have." Glancing up to him I watch him gulp in a nervous manner.

"I am a bit nervous, I don't exactly know what to do here." He whispered quietly.

"You must be joking right? I mean you seriously can't be a virgin." Scoffing softly I looked up at him in amusement.

"Well no, I did it multiple times with Yumi." His voice trailed off as he bites at his lip for a moment. "I just don't know what to do with you is all."

"Ryuu, there is no difference between a girl or with me." I spoke, trying to calm his racing thoughts.

"No Hika, I beg to differ. There is quite a huge difference." He laughed out weakly. "We also haven't known each other that long, only just about two weeks now. I don't want this to be too soon."