Why Me?

13. Happiness

Ryuuzaki's PoV

Unable to still believe it, however it just happened. For the first time in my life, I just had sex with another guy. But this wasn't just any guy, I just made love with Hikaru Yamashita. Yet I couldn't be happier.

Watching as Hika slipped off his own bed, he spotted his briefs pulling them once more on his form. His eyes scanned the floor until they landed on what he was searching for, his long sleeved shirt.

My mind instantly went back to the scars on his left arm and wrist. There wasn't only just a couple of them, there were many on his beautiful pale skin. Watching him pull on his shirt, to cover up the marks, my mind wanders. Wanting to know why he has them, did he cause the harm to himself? Did another do them? Does he still harm himself? So many questions rang in my mind, however I promised I wouldn't ask him.

Sitting up myself, I reach for my own boxers and slip them on. Grabbing my own shirt I pull my arms through the holes then work on buttoning it back up.

"Should I leave?" The question left my lips suddenly. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do now, but maybe he wanted to be alone?

"No." He whispered as he turned to me. Hika moved closer grasping onto my hand as I sat on the edge of his bed. "Please stay, stay with me Ryuuzaki."

Nodding my head in agreement to him, I asked softly. "Do you smoke?" He shook his head no. This answer made me happy. "Good never start, it is a disgusting habit." Mumbling my hand itched to hold a cigarette. I hated how addicted I was to them at times.

"I don't mind." Hikaru spoke softly. Did he read my body reaction to me asking, could he tell what I wanted? "Have one."

"You, uhh sure? What if your mom smells it. I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy."

Hikaru only just casually shrugged his shoulders, as if it was no big deal.

"Ryuu it's fine. We can open the window to help air it out too." He smiled as he crawled onto his bed, opening the window over it. The soft breeze entered and it felt refreshing. "Just use, uhh." His blue eyes scanned the room, as he walked and grabbed something for me to knock the ashes into.

"Thanks." Taking it I set it on the small bedside table. Grabbing my book bag that lay next to the bed. My hands search inside of it, until I pull out the box of cigarettes and my lighter.

Pulling out a single cigarette, I fingers hold it softly. Placing it in my lips, my hand lights the white stick with the lighter in my hands. Inhaling a deep breath, Sighing out as I leaned back against the wall his bed is pressed against too. Blowing out the smoke in relief, that was when I noticed Hikaru's eyes on me. "What?"

His face suddenly blushed softly. "You just, get more sexier by the minute." He whispered quietly. Moving next to me, he leaned softly against my body and chest. My free arm softly wrapping around his form, to hold him softly.

"You think me smoking is sexy?" This thought alone made me chuckle, it amused me. "Yumi hated it." Pausing my words, I didn't mean to bring her up. "Ah, sorry."

"Ryuu, you two were together almost an entire year. It's natural you may casually bring her up. As far as I know, if I am the one you want, I am happy."

Gazing at the small boy in my arms I smiled. My eyes flickered to the clock and I found it was already just after midnight. "Yah, about that," sighing I lean towards the bed table and knock off the ashes into it from my cigarette. Puffing it more I mumble out, "It's already been an entire year."

"Really?" His voice held confusion. "Last we spoke on the matter, you said it was coming up. When was your anniversary?"

Taking a deep inhale of my cigarette, I made quick work of finishing it off. Blowing out the smoke slowly I sigh, "Last night, unless you want to refer to it still as tonight."