Why Me?

18. Unwanted Memories

***Authors note: To clear any confusion. This chapter will be switching on and off from Hikaru's PoV and his memories from his past. I will separate his memories with an extra space and put them in ITALICS***

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As Monday morning came, I was dreading to even leave the house. "How can he be here." Whispering to myself as I pulled my clothes on. "I never wanted to see him ever again." My body was already trembling as memories from two years ago hit me

"Hika, I love you."

"Hanz, I love you too." I whispered as he pulled me into a kiss, in the middle of the school field. We never did care that people saw us together. I was thrilled for them to know, that this handsome amazing guy was mine.

To me, back then things were perfect. However I don't know what happened, but something changed. Shaking my head of my thoughts, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. "That was my past, it doesn't matter anymore. Ryuuzaki is my future." However the feeling of insecurity isn't leaving my heart.

Already knowing what was awaiting me at school. I placed my headphones over my ears, and pulled my hood up onto my head. As I left my home, and walked down the street I was lost in my thoughts.

Back then I thought being with Hanzu Atsumu was perfect, though something started to make me change. I grew more distant and fell into depression about everything in life. Nothing could make me smile back then, not even Hanzu.

My fingers grazed my left wrist as I walked. This was how it all started, with him in my life.

I remembered I was furious with my mother for moving us once again. But then Hanzu appeared. He was open with me right from the start that he was gay and had a crush on me. I clearly remember blushing deeply, being really shy around him. Because back then, I was already in love with him.

"I'm Hanzu by the way. Hanzu Atsumu." He held out his hand to me as I stared at him. "But feel free to call me Hanz." There was something about him that drew me into him.

"Hikaru Yamashita." I spoke as I shook his hand. Our hands held onto one another's a little longer than they honestly should have.

"This feels perfect." He smiled at me, this caused me to blush madly. "You know Hikaru, I can already tell. You and I are going to end up dating."

"What!" My eyes grew wide as I blushed even deeper. How could someone be so open about their feelings, to another they just met?

"Just trust me on this one." He grinned at me, as he sent me a wink.

Sighing I try to block out those memories. Making my way down the street nearing school I kept my gaze down. Walking along the halls once at the school, I go to my locker while removing my headphones to hang around my neck. Opening it I throw my book bag inside and grab my books for the first lesson of the day.

Turning around to head to class, I bump into another and drop my books to the floor. "Fuck." Cursing under my breath, I bend down to pick up my things. That was when I noticed one being held out to me.

"This is just like deja vu." Snapping my head up, I was met with those violet eyes once more.

"I am so sorry!" A voice spoke out as they bumped into me in the school hallway. My books in my arms scattered all along the floor.

"Whatever." Mumbling I bent down to pick up all my things.