Why Me?

37. Couldn't Stop Myself

"Just start a new life." Whispering I shove my hands into my sweater pockets, as the sky above me opened up and rain started to fall. "Just start a new life with him." A soft smile formed on my lips. The rain not bothering me as I walked along the street, my hood up over my head. "A new life, I can try.." My hopes were up, and as Ryuu told me. I did feel better for sharing. Like this huge weight was removed from my chest.

"Hika." My body tensed up, as I froze in my place. "I was hoping to see you again." Spinning around, my eyes grow wide in fear seeing him behind me.

Unable to look away from his violet eyes, the rain soaked his entire body. His sandy blonde hair stuck to his face, as I watched a twisted smirk appear on his lips.

"S-stay away from me." Finally finding my voice I whisper out weakly. Now I wish Ryuu was coming to pick me up, but I knew he wouldn't magically show up. Stepping backwards, I could feel how weak my own legs felt as fear crept up my spine. "W-why can't you just leave me alone!" Crying out, tears start to fall down my pale face. My body was soaked from the rain, as I stared at him.

"Hika, because whether you believe it or not. I still love you, I truly do."

Silently I shook my head at his answer, he was sick and twisted. "You never once loved me!" Screaming at him, I tried to calm myself. "If you truly loved me, you would have tried to help me instead of what you did."

"I did help you." In a quick motion his body was up against mine, his arms around my wet form. My eyes went wide as I started to shake in fear. "I showed you how to get the pain to stop."

"You tried to get me to kill myself! Twice now! How is that fucking love in your sick twisted mind!"

"Think about it Hikaru. It would have stopped all of your pain and suffering." Suddenly his wet cold hands lifted up my tear stained face, noticing him leaning in closer to me. "Once I knew you were perfectly free from all the pain of living. I was going to end my own suffering. We would have been together forever Hika."

How was this one guy so fucked up in the head? "You're mental." Slapping his hand away from my face, I managed to scramble out of his grip.

"Our love would have lasted for eternity together, and I am still very much planning on that to happen."

Taking another step backwards I shake my head. "Stay the fuck away from me Hanzu. Can't you see I don't love you!"

"No, you do love me. You and I will be together forever." He stepped closer to me.

"I love Ryuuzaki..."

A scoff leaves his lips as he grabbed my hand tightly in his. "That jock? Please, don't make me laugh. I can give you so much more. And you know that."

Trying to free my hand from his grip, I struggled with the fact on how much stronger he was then me. "I said to stay the fuck away from me!" Raising my other hand, I suddenly slap him across the face as hard as I could. His grip on me loosened, as I pushed him backwards and started to run.

"Hika!" Before I knew what happened, his hands grabbed my body roughly. My back now tight against his chest, he growled out into my ear. "Just let me love you, god how I missed your soft light touches. Your kisses, our bodies as one."

"Let go of me!" I screamed out in fear, hoping maybe Mr Ortaiga would hear me and come help. Though the harsh rain and the wind that was picking up, sadly drowned out my cry for help.

"I will give you my love." Rain dripped down my face, now mixing with my tears. Never once have I been more afraid, than I was this very moment.

"H-hanzu, please don't do this." Begging him, he dragged me off from the sidewalk we stood on.