Why Me?

25. Just One More Cut

Ryuuzaki's PoV

Driving back to Hika's, the car was in a complete dead silence. As I drove my eyes would keep glancing over to look at my boyfriend who I love. Nothing but pain and sadness were showing in his piercing blue eyes. No emotions were displayed on his face, as he sat there staring off into space. It was hard for me to comprehend, how he could possibly become this unhappy with his life?

Arriving at his house finally, I get out of the car only to see him sitting there not moving. My heart pains as I slowly walked to the passenger door and open it up.

Hikaru Yamashita, I honestly love him so much. Our relationship might be strained now, by all of this. However that won't stop me from being with him, I would do anything to make him smile once more.

"Hika." Softly I place my hand upon his shoulder and he turns his blank gaze to me. "Your home." I whispered as he climbed out of his car, my arm instantly wrapping around his waist as I guided him to the entrance.

As he pulled his keys from his pocket, I took them from him and unlocked the door for us. The house was quiet as we stepped inside, his mom must be at work.

Guiding him upstairs to his bedroom, I had him sit down on his bed. "I need to clean your arm up." Still silent, he just nodded his head as he waited for me.

Making quick work, I cleaned his cuts then wrapped them with gauze and bandages. This entire time he has yet to say a word, not since I stopped him from mutilating his arm at school. I can't deny the fact that I am terrified of the direction he is heading. Can I truly be the one to save him? From turning his life around? Stopping him from doing anything that he can't come back from?

"Ryuu.." His voice was weak and shaking, as he finally spoke. Watching him, he slowly laid down upon his bed and stared up at his ceiling. Quickly I move and follow him. Laying next to him, my arms wrap around his slim fragile body. His form starts shaking in my arms as he whispered out once more. "I do love you, more than anything."

"I love you too Hika." Kissing his forehead, I held him close to my chest. He always seemed to love me holding him to my chest with my arms around him. "Let me save you Hika, I want to spend my life with you."

"Even after all of this?" His voice croaked out in monotone, with no emotions.

"I fell in love with you when I first met you, I just didn't realize it right away. Once I did, I broke up with Yumi to be with you. My parents barely speak to me now, because I refuse to break up with you. When they do, it's all yelling at me." I whispered as I held him tighter to my chest. "Hika, you are not the only one struggling in life."

Feeling him move, I saw him raise his face just enough to look me in the eyes. "W-what? Why didn't you tell me about your parents?" The concern I heard in his voice, flashed across his blue eyes.

"Because you are suffering enough, I can see that. Plus I didn't want you blaming yourself about it. This was all my doing, not yours." Speaking calmly I let my hand run through his flaming red hair.

"I am so lost."

Giving him a soft smile I nodded, "I know. I want you to be that guy again."

"What guy?" He whispered, as his eyes closed as he snuggled into my chest.

"You know, the guy who got upset with me for not being honest with myself. The guy who kissed me for the first time. You took my breath away with that kiss you know. Be the guy who I first made love to. Hika, just come back to me."

"I don't know if I can." His words were breaking my heart.

About to argue that statement, I didn't. Hearing his soft breathing even out, I held him as he fell asleep in my arms. Gazing down at him, tears I couldn't hold back any longer dripped down my cheeks.