Homebound (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 34

Sitting in a session with Melanie has never felt so good before because this time, I know that I'm making progress with my mental health. My PTSD is getting better and the flashbacks aren't hurting me as much since I've accepted Lukas and Paige as my parents. I think Melanie's noticed this because she seems much happier and less serious when we talk about heavier topics.

About halfway through the session, she gives me a sincere smile and nods her head. "You're feeling much better after going to the trial?"

I nod, not being able to hold back the smile from coming onto my lips. "I do. I learned a lot from hearing things and it was really eye-opening, you know?"

"That's understandable," she says before pausing for a moment, watching me with a thoughtful expression. "what were some of the things you learned?"

"Uh," I say, staring down at the ground as my mind compiles a list of all the things that I now know due to the past few days. My hands become a bit sweaty because thinking about it still makes me anxious, even if I'm overall happy with how things worked out. "well, I figured out that my family now is much more healthy than what Andrew and Rebecca were like. And, um..."

"How is it more healthy?" Melanie asks, setting her notepad on the coffee table that she usually uses to write down notes. I can't help it when a shiver runs through my body and my hands start to tremble at the question. Before I can say anything, Melanie interrupts me with a small supportive smile. "Remember, we can stop talking about this when you want to. We can always revisit it when you have more time to think it over."

I shake my head, waving her off. "No, it's alright," I whisper. I clear my throat since it has become considerably drier by the second. I avert her eyes as I finally feel open to talking about this because it's okay. Everything's alright. It's Melanie, she won't judge me for being oblivious for the past years. "well, um, Andrew and Rebecca just weren't great parents. I had... I had no privacy growing up, like there was maybe an hour a day when I could be alone in my room, except if I was sleeping."

I wipe my hands on my jeans and stuff them between my thighs to avoid having her see the shaking. But she's trained to notice these things, so obviously, she sees it, but she doesn't say anything. "And they would check my phone every week, sometimes multiple times a week. That's how they found out I was gay and I mean, thankfully they were okay with it, but I wish it didn't happen like that. Uh, they would also... humiliate me, I guess?"

Melanie nods her head and waits a few moments to see if I would continue. When she sees that I'm not, she gives me a supportive smile and nod of the head. "How would they humiliate you?"

I sigh, looking down at my feet. "Whenever my friends would come over or something, they would talk so much about my flaws. They would talk about my poor grades or tease me about just random things I would do. They talked so much about my weight, which was a huge thing for me growing up. I was very skinny for some reason and it was hard for me to gain weight and they would always make fun of me for it. They... they called me names and because my friends found it funny without realizing how I felt, they became my nicknames until I finally told them how much I hated it."

"Would they do it as a way to punish you?" She asks, staring at me with eyes like she's trying to determine how I'm feeling.

I think for a moment before nodding my head. "I guess so, yeah. They had a lot of tactics for punishment and I guess that was one of them."

"How else would they punish you?"

My eyes squeeze closed as the image of me sitting in that damn closet fills my head. "I haven't told anyone about this."

Melanie nods her head, waiting a moment to scan me over once more. "That's okay. Take as much time as you need."

"There was... in our house, there was this closet that we just didn't use and I don't know why, but, um... one night, I stayed out a little longer than I was supposed to and... well, Rebecca ended up putting me in there as punishment. It was late and she had work in the morning, so she put a chair under the doorknob and left me there all night. It was dark and there was no food and... and no bathroom, so I... stuff... happened in there, okay? It was bad," I say, my voice growing much softer by the end of my statement. My hands shake even more and with them being held between my thighs, it makes my legs shake as well.