Dilemmas

05

The recess bell rang, relieving Shaun from his science quiz.

"Okay," Ms. Peregrine said, her voice echoing around the silent room. "Pass the paper to your front."

Shaun finished the last question and filled the blank before passing it to the person in front of him.

"Hurry up," Adam said gruffly. He lifted his arm over his head before Shaun gave it. Students shuffled around uncomfortably as they stood up and stretched.

Then he caught the eye of Kaden. He was sitting at the back of the crowd, his arms on the table and his hand supporting his head. Kaden looked frustrated.

But Shaun gave him the stink eye when he didn't notice. He's a monster, he thought. He's a Pride.

Drake sat on the empty chair beside Shaun, blocking Kaden from view. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie. His hood was drawn back, and he had a pair of headphones wrapped around his neck. "Hey, what's up?" He frowned. Them he moved his body to see Kaden, who had his head on the table. "What's wrong with him?"

"It's just. . ." he said, struggling to form his words. "You don't want to know."

"Tell me," Drake pressed. "What does he have to do with you?"

"Um. . ." Shaun muttered. "He—we actually have a grudge against each other. I mean, before. . .he had another twin, Jason Pride, and—and—"

"What do you mean before?" Drake asked, raising an eyebrow. "You mean—"

Shaun cut him off, his normal voice lowering to a hiss. "No. Jason died. Complications of pneumonia."

Drake held back a gasp. "How do you know all of this?"

"We. . ." Shaun began, but them he faltered. Should he telling him all of this? Would it risk everything?

"Shaun?" Drake said, his sharp voice cutting through his thought. "How did you know about all of this? And what does it have to do with Kaden?"

"We. . .Jason and I. . .we have a complicated past," Shaun said, lowering his head.

"How complicated?"

"Very. Very complicated," Shaun replied, standing up and unzipping his backpack at the back. "You shouldn't know about it."

Then he walked out of the classroom without another word.

•

Noisy chatter filled the canteen. Students walked to and fro as they proceeded to sit on their tables and enjoy the company of other people.

Meanwhile, Shaun sat alone, ate alone. It was weird for a student to eat in a corner without any company, but it seemed fine to him. It was like his aura drove a lot of people away from him.

He sighed with relief. He'd been too close to revealing about Jason and his past. He had promised himself that nothing should be known about him. Sometimes he had to deal with his own problems by himself.

"Nice seeing you here alone, Shaun," said Giovanni, appearing in front of him with his own metal tray of food. "Mind if I join?"

Shaun sighed. "Fine."

Giovanni sat down in front of him. His hair was already around three inches tall. It was probably months after he got a haircut. But Shaun had already gotten used to seeing him like that.

They ate in silence, utensils raking against the surface of the trays. Shaun was almost done with his food, and after a few minutes, he would be on his way to the classroom.

"Who's going to be your partner during the dance?" Giovanni asked absentmindedly, taking his spoon and tasting the corn soup.

He suddenly thought of Julie again. Shaun almost puked. "Well. . .I have no plans to go with someone yet—"

Gio frowned. "I thought it was you and Julie."

"Um. . ." Shaun muttered.

"That's a shame," he added, his frown deepening. "Many people are looking forward to seeing you guys dance."

Shaun's heart jumped. "They are?"

He stood up and held his tray on both hands. Gio was finished with his meal. "Yeah. Guess I'll have to break the news. . ."

"Don't," Shaun said. Giovanni turned to face him. "Don't tell anyone else. Please. This is only between you and me."

Gio sighed softly and walked away, leaving Shaun more miserable than ever.

•

It was already past four when he stood in front of his dorm. He took out the key he got from the manager's office earlier and unlocked the door.

He saw the messes last night. And now, it was like all of it vanished. The beds were neatly cleaned and they was barely any clutter. Shaun was impressed.

He walked into the room and grunting, he lifted his backpack and placed it on his bed. He stretched for a second while beads of sweat formed on his head.

"Bringing the backpack here is always the tough part," he muttered to himself, lying down on the bed below his, which was Brandon's bed.

He was alone. And he preferred being lonely, at least.

Shaun thought of what happened. He just couldn't believe he left Drake hanging, and if what Giovanni said was true, then also he would disappoint lots of people later.

The acquaintance party was nearing, and to Shaun, it felt like Doomsday was around the corner.

"I'm a disappointment, am I?" he asked himself. Was he really a disappointment?

"Hello?" someone outside asked. Shaun couldn't see who from where he was since his locker blocked that someone from view. "Anyone there?"

"Christopher?" Shaun called out.

"Shaun?" he said, entering the room. Christopher was wearing a dark blue sleeveless shirt and school pants. "You're early too, huh?"

He sighed and sat up. "Yeah. Thanks to sir."

Christopher laughed. It lifted Shaun's heart to hear a laugh so soothing in the room. "We're lucky to have him."

"I know, Chris." Shaun stood up. "Are you ready for the party?"

"Yeah," Chris replied. "Lucy finally accepted being my partner for the slow dance."

"Good job, bro!" Shaun yelled and they wrapped themselves in a hug. Then they let go of each other.

"It was kinda easy, though. . ." he muttered.

"Ha. Ha," Shaun said.

He gave the dismissive wave. "Anyways, I'm gonna get ready for the party. Are you?"

"I need to catch my breath. It's. . .it's been overwhelming."

He was already walking out of the door. "Mmm, 'kay." His voice was barely audible. And just like that, Chris was gone.

Shaun lay on the bed again. "Overwhelming," he muttered. "Yeah, right."

Then he sat up and went to his locker. After unlocking, he looked at his clothes being hanged on the little rack and the clothes underneath it.

He sifted through his clothes. "Now. . .what was I going to wear again. . ?"