Dilemmas

13

Once he got into the school, he felt a sudden change of energy in the atmosphere. Many were chatting with each other. Shaun kept a low head, making sure that no one would see him.

He walked into his classroom but before he went in, laughter from the inside made him halt. He also heard chattering, and Shaun listened in.

". . .holy shit," a shrilly voice said. A girl, he thought. "He's in love with. . ." She began to crack up. ". . .him?! That's fucking crazy!"

The laughter died down. "I know," said a boy. "But it's true, you know? Adam told me last night at the dorm. You could not believe what actually happened. . ."

Shaun stopped listening. He couldn't believe it. He clenched his fist. "Kaden. . ." he seethed under his breath. "He spread those rumors. . . .Fuck him. . ."

"Oh look!" the same boy voice he listened to a while ago shouted a little too loudly. Shaun turned to the direction of the voice and saw Pete poking out of the doorframe.

He sneered. "It's he who has a crush—no—a boyfriend!" His voice echoed around the hallway and when Shaun looked around, it was like time stopped. Everyone froze. Several pairs of eyes fixed on Pete and Shaun.

"It is him!" someone from the crowd screamed.
And the entire hallway erupted into a frenzy.

Shaun did not like the frenzy in the canteen days ago. If it happened in the hallway, it was worse.

Many people crowded him like he was celebrity or something. Students screamed all around him, and it was drowning out all his words. It all seemed like a blur, and Shaun felt like all the air were forced out of his lungs.

But then thankfully, the bell rang. And the crowd immediately dissipated instantly. The last of the people walked away, exchanging looks at each other, talking to themselves, and casting side glances at Shaun.

Now he felt like a celebrity. Except it was a bad thing.

Without another word, he slipped into the classroom. The teacher had arrived by then and just placed his stuff on the desk. Shaun took his usual seat.

"You may sit down," Mr. Walter said to the class.

Shaun sat down and at the corner of his eye, he saw his two classmates, Trisha and Adriane, casting glances at him and whispering to each other.

He snapped back into focus when Mr. Walter suddenly said, "Miss Anderson, Miss Bell, do you have anything to say before we begin this class?"

Everyone sank into silence. Trisha and Adriane looked down in embarrassment. "No," one of them responded meekly.

The bio teacher clapped his hands. "Good. Then perhaps let us get started. Get your books and open to page. . ."

Mr. Walter rambled on and on, but Shaun was still reeling from what happened earlier. The rumor went out of control, he thought to himself as he dug into his backpack and opened his biology book. Kaden. I know he did this. It has been him. It always has been him.

Now everybody knows. And now the whole world goes into shit.

•

That night, he clutched the phone in his pocket as he walked around. Unlike the chaos of the school, being outside seemed more relaxing. The world sank into a serene silence, as the wind blew and cooled his skin. He breathed the wonderful fresh air.

He suddenly remembered his therapist saying to him when he was seven. Take deep breaths. Everything is going to ba alright.

He did. And after a few breaths, it was like nothing bad ever happened. It was like he was imagining it all. Nothing much.

But that imagination was reality.

Shaun looked at the kiosk on the elevated ground where the dorm stood. Light glowed at a distance, like a little dot. There were people there. Many people would go there every night. Mostly first-year students like some of his classmates, Trisha, Amanda, May, and a few others too: Julia. Riley. Matt. Shaun would go there sometimes, but would always leave because of how noisy it was and how it can get.

Suddenly, the phone he was holding buzzed. He took it out and saw the caller's name.

Caleb.

He remembered the argument they had a few weekends ago. But back then, he thought he could trust Kaden, but he betrayed him.

Shaun gladly accepted the call. He placed it near his ear. "Hey man."

The feedback was fuzzy, but he could make up some of what Caleb said. "Wassup? Just. . .you, man."

"You were right," Shaun said, his anger boiling. He gritted his teeth. "I'm so sorry for arguing back then."

"You don't. . .say anything," he replied. It became fuzzier. Unclear. ". . .is a Pride. We. . .let him get. . .with what he had done."

Probably: Kaden is a Pride. We can't let him get away with what he had done.

"You're damn right," he said. Then he paused for a full minute.

"Anything wrong?" Caleb asked him.

Shaun began walking slowly, going up the elevation to the road between both dorms. He couldn't explain everything that had happened last week and today. No he shouldn't.

"Nothing," he babbled. "Had another thought in my head."

"Oh cool," Caleb muttered incoherently. Shaun rolled his eyes. He was always like that.

"Anyways," he added. "I gotta go."

"Wait, wait!"

Shaun was about to end the call when he stopped. "What?"

"I actually called you, 'cause tomorrow's my birthday."

Shaun even realized it before he said it. He smiled tightly. "Happy  birthday, man!"

"Thanks," he muttered. "It's no big deal. I'm going to have a party at the pool tomorrow. Wanna come?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure," Shaun agreed. "I'll remember to bring a gift."

He chuckled at that thought. "Nice. See you tomorrow, then."

Shaun bit his lip. "Yeah. See you." Then he ended the call. He took a deep breath and let his phone drop into his pocket.

He sighed. It's going to be a big day tomorrow, he thought. and I can't wait for it. Finally a little break from all the Kaden and the kissing shit.

As soon as he walked back to the dorm, Shaun started thinking about his birthday present for his beloved friend.