Dilemmas

21

Shaun could see the spotlights as they approached the stadium. Even from afar, he could see blue blurs running around. It was only when they came closer when he realized that they were soccer players. Ryan's team.

"Gab!" Ryan exclaimed, jogging to the field as soon as he dropped his bag. Shaun followed suit, walking behind in his school uniform. He hadn't changed yet ever since dismissal.

When he got there, Ryan and Gab were hugging each other. But Gab locked eyes with Shaun for one second and he frowned. He let go of Ryan.

"You brought your gay lover with you?" Gab sneered. The rest of the team were looking at Shaun and Ryan now. They formed a circle around them.

Shaun held Ryan's hand. "I shouldn't be here."

Ryan kept an even face. "Gab, we talked about this."

"But we never agreed on it," Gab replied. "How would they look if I told them that I have a gay friend? How would they look if I told them that I have a friend who fell in love with some fucking kiss?!"

"Gab. . ." Ryan warned. "That's a new low."

Gab laughed. "That's a new low? That's the only thing you can say to me?! Oh my—for the love of God, just get over it already."

Shaun had enough. He stepped forward. "Gee, y-you gush like a girl, Gab. I've met people like you but wow, your loathing towards us makes me wonder." He got more confident the more words came out of his lips. "Why don't you be a gay for once and let's see what would happen. You haven't experienced what it really means to be gay. I'll admit: it's torcher, you hear me? Fucking torcher."

He took another step forward. "So stop discriminating Ryan, me, or any other gay, queer, or bisexual person alive because I tell you: they've gone through much more than your sorry ass could count!"

The entire field was silent. Gab was silent.

He pointed to each and everyone else around them. "And I swear, if I hear another fucking word discriminating us, then. . .then get ready to say bye-bye to your sorry asses too! You—you get me?"

Silence.

"Do you fucking get me?!" Shaun shouted at them.

"Y—yes," the team croaked in unison.

". . .sir?" someone for the crowd added softly. An uneasy laugh escaped from the group.

Shaun grabbed Ryan. "Come on," he grunted, pulling him away from the crowd.

When they got far enough, Ryan let go of him. "Thanks," he mumbled. Shaun heard a hint of irony in his voice. "I needed that."

They looked at each other squarely at the eye. "If you want to be with those bitches, then go," Shaun spat. "I'll go back to the dorm and pretend that this never happened, which won't work. So, yeah. Thanks."

Shaun stormed away, leaving Ryan to stare at the darkness where Shaun disappeared.

•

"Where were you?" Drake asked him as they climbed up the stairs to their dorms.

Shaun checked his watch. Did he even have a watch? "I went to the practice with Ryan."

"Oh. Okay," he mumbled in reply. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Did you sneak off?"

Shaun shrugged. "Kind of."

Drake didn't say another word as they parted ways. He waked on while Shaun entered through the open doorway that led to his room.

He shut the door and after climbing up to his bed, he lay down, groaning. "Fuck those guys," he mumbled to himself. Then he buried his face in the pillow again.