Walk slowly (edited)

Chapter 7

I could not sleep all night, all because I kept on reading and reading Jiyeon’s email to Mark.

Jiyeon! Because of that woman, Mark does not see my love for him! I never knew Jiyeon, only her name but that was all, because I heard from my friends. Was she beautiful? I really cannot answer that question, but certainly, she's special because she was able to captivate Mark’s heart.

Though the chances were slim, I still hoped to get to know her. To see the only woman who Mark loved up to this day. To see what this woman had that I did not. To see the woman that had successfully made Mark postponed my happiness for two years.

I am currently in a dilemma. Although not many questions were answered, at least I already knew the cause of all this matter. As Mark’s fiancé, it was very hard for me to face up to all these. But the decision should have already been made, considering my heart was already shredded by Mark’s attitude.

My head began to hurt.

I think my migraine came back. I thought as I buried my head in my sleeves on the table. Luckily, today is a weekend, otherwise I will have to go to the clinic to take a leave.

A moment later, I got up, closed the laptop that had not rested since yesterday. My eyes began to hurt and I know exactly why. Although I have no more tears left to cry, my heart still wept.

Why is my life so difficult? I want to feel happy too.

I looked at my phone as it rang louder. Mark! My eyes gazed at his name that appeared on the screen. I had wanted to answer but when I thought of Jiyeon, I could not bring myself to answer the call. The phone was left ringing for a while and it only stopped for a second before ringing again.

I did not want to face or even talk to Mark for now. I wanted to give myself some time to think properly and decide what I should do. Whom do I have to take side of? Mark or myself? I should decide that now. For all this time, I thought that Irene was the cause of Mark’s coldness towards me. But it turned out that Jiyeon was actually the root of our problem.

*****

I spent the weekend lying in bed with a headache. And today I had to get a leave from the doctors and decided to go back to my parent’s house.

*****

It’s been three days and I’m still in pain.

I could not stand it anymore, and went to seek treatment at a clinic I always visited. I was already familiar and comfortable with Dr. Daehyun, the way he worked and the smile that always accompanied his duties bind me from seeking treatment from elsewhere.

Dr. Daehyun gave me leave for another two days and it was enough for me to rest. His words remained the same —— migraine.

I definitely have a migraine and I’ve always known about it. But lately this disease often striked. Because I was tired of taking medication, sometimes I just let it continue to attack me relentlessly. When I am no longer able to stand the pain, I will then quickly go to the clinic to get treatment. And because of that, Dr. Daehyun often scolded me.

*****

Mom smiled at the door to welcome my return. I smiled, she still looked beautiful despite being older now.

“You’re not going to work today?” Mother asked after I hugged her.

“I’ve got a leave for 2 days. Where is father, mom?” I walked hand in hand with mom into the house.

When mom heard the question, she stopped walking and looked at me. The look she gave me made me feel uneasy.

“Your father… is meeting a friend.” She stuttered and changed the topics to my health with a rush, “Are you sick? Migraine again?”

I’m sure mom is lying. I’m his son. I was born from her womb. Every time mom tried to lie, she always stuttered.

“Just be honest with me, mom. There is no need to hide anything from me. I have the right to know it. Where did father go?” I grasp my mother's hands, the very hands that managed to educate and raise me to be a better person.

“Please don’t be mad at your father. He does all this for you. You’re our only son.”

“Mother, your words are making me more worried.” There must be something wrong.

“Your Father is meeting the Tuans, to discuss your wedding, which has long been delayed.” Mom spoke as she bowed her face.

I sighed.

Father! He was the most worried person about my relationship with Mark. I still remember that every time Mark postponed our marriage, Father would ask me repeatedly if I forced Mark to postpone the marriage. Father really wanted Mark to be his son-in-law. But did he know that will never happen? Yes. I have made my decision and as always, I have put Mark in first place, just like every decision that I make.

This time, I’m sure with the result I’ve decided. I want to end this endless love. Even if I have waited for thousands of years, I’m sure I cannot unite with Mark. His heart had been held long, so long that there was no room for me to gain a place in his heart.

I already knew the truth and his happiness was my priority. Therefore, I decided to stop pursuing his Love.

I removed the ring that I used to be so happy wearing or even just looking at it, but now, not anymore. This marriage cannot happen and that was my decision. He would definitely be content with what I’m going to do. I’m sure about it. Very sure!