Walk slowly (edited)

Chapter 35

“No need to invite anyone.” That’s the answer I received from Mark when I asked him about guests.

I don’t have enough time when I still have not received the guests’ names for his wedding.

Anger was clear in his voice. What did I do to make him that angry? Is it because I failed in managing their wedding the way he wanted?

“Mark hyung, I’m sorry if you think I’m not suitable to manage this occasion.” I apologized when Mark wanted to step inside his car.

Mark looked at my face. He just stayed silent. Then he started the engine and left me alone there.

As we approached our divorce and his wedding day, his frowns increased. I don’t want to keep thinking about it. Because the more I think, the more I feel useless.

I received a call from Jackson which woke me from my thoughts about what happened this morning. I answered Jackson's call with a smile. Jackson is always by my side when I need a shoulder to cry on.

“Nyoungie, I think you made the wrong decision.” Those were the first words that came from Jackson's mouth as soon as I picked his call.

“Wrong decision? What did you just say Jackson?” I asked.

I don’t understand what he meant. Why so sudden?

“I think you should not allow Mark to marry Jiyeon…” Jackson tried to make me understand.

“Why? What’s with you, Jackson?”

“Don’t you think Mark actually loves you? Is it true that you can’t feel it? Until when do you want to be angry? Can’t you just forgive him?”

I immediately walked outside of the house, going far from Jiyeon who was watching the television. I don’t want her to think wrongly when she hears our talk.

“I…” it’s hard for me to say what is in my mind.

“I was mad at him, but that’s in the past, Jackson. Now, I know I can’t force someone to love me…” I started.

“You mean… you don’t love him anymore?” Jackson pressed on.

Like a cop!

“My love for him will always remain in my heart, Jackson. I only say I will forget him, but I can’t possibly do it all.” I replied. This time, letting him know what is in my heart.

“Then why don’t you give him a chance? You’re just torturing yourself, Jinyoungie. Don’t you know that? Until when do you want to be like this, Jinyoung? Stop being so nice!” Jackson's tone changed slightly.

“I’m willing to give him a chance for his mistakes, Jackson. But I can’t fight fate. He’s not my soul mate. He is Jiyeon’s mate.”

“Omg! Jinyoung! Stop talking about Jiyeon! I’m sorry to say this, but this time I have to say it, you’re so stupid, Jinyoung. Do you know how much people out there fight their way to save their marriage but you easily gave him to someone else? You make me question whether you really love Mark?”

I was silent listening to Jackson’s words. My words just die there.

“You always give up. That’s why you just follow whatever path you see in front of yourself. You have to change your own fate, Jinyoung. Don’t hope for someone else to change it for you. If you really love Mark, why not build a new life with him? Stop torturing yourself. Besides, Mark really does love you.” Jackson kept pushing me.

“Are there wives who do not love their husband, Jackson? If I don’t love him, I will not do all this. I just want him to be happy, because all this time, I never have a chance to make him happy. Why does no one understand what I feel?” I poured out everything inside my heart. Why is Jackson suddenly blaming me?