Walk slowly (edited)

Chapter 37

04 august 2014 – 10.05 pm: Yesterday I became a husband. A husband to a wife who I used to call brother. Jiyeon came just like I planned. I know she was mad with my marriage. I’m satisfied! This will be a lesson for her. But I don’t know why, since I kissed Jinyoung forehead, I feel that this marriage did not happen because of my family or to make Jiyeon mad. I can feel my life becoming complete the moment Jinyoung said I do. Every time I looked into his eyes I could feel my heart pounding. Why do I feel all this? Is this what you call love? Then what about Jiyeon?

The thick page that I read made me want to continue reading the next writing. Quickly, I read the next page without guilt.

17 sept 2014 - 8.45 pm: My head hurt. Why is everything being in a mess? I hate that person, but sometimes I feel pity. Arghh I really hate it! It would be good if Jinyoung appeared in my life before Jiyeon did. I thought I can’t love someone else besides Jiyeon. But the truth is, there is only Jinyoung in my heart right now. Or maybe he was already in my heart from the start?

I read, one by one, the words written by Mark. I never thought I would be able to finish his writing. If only I read until the end that time, Mark and I must already be happily together right now. I thought... arghhh this is what happens if you are always prejudiced. I should always think before I take action.

13 Nov 2014 - 9.05 pm: Just as I expected, he really is a good wife. My heart feels calm every time I look at his face. But I don’t know why my heart never want to the the true what inside my heart. Every time he talks about Jiyeon, I become uneasy, I don’t want Jinyoung to be hurt. So I have to scold him! Hoping he never said Jiyeon’s name. I can’t bear to see him cry… 

I’m touched. I read the last paragraph many times before continuing to the next. I can’t stop smiling. He cares about me. My wounds felt like they're healing by themselves. I felt like falling in love again.

22 December 2014 – 10.05 pm: I plan to bring Jinyoung on a honeymoon trip to Nami Island. Everything is settled. I’m sure mama and papa can play well in their part to persuade and bring Jinyoung there. I hope my plan to bring him there is successful. I don’t know if he likes it or not. But I know him like island and everything that he likes, I will like it too!

I laughed a little. One more thing I didn’t expect. I really don’t have any idea Mark was the one who planned the trip. Honeymoon? I didn’t think he had time to think about it.

23 March 2015 - 1.20 am: when I saw him on the hospital bed, I wanted to be there in place of him. I kept praying for Jinyoung's safety. Today, I realized that I'm weak when I see the person I love lying there while I can’t do anything. Jiyeon! Why does she keep appearing in front of me? Keep talking about our memories? No! I will never return to her because I already have Jinyoung, my love and my life. Whatever happens to Jinyoung, I will be beside him. That is my promise as Jinyoung’s husband.

24 March 2014- 09.30 pm: The doctor confirmed that he was suffering temporary amnesia. But I don’t think it is like that. My heart keeps telling me Jinyoung is fine. If what I feel is true, I think I know why Jinyoung did this. I will never allow him to keep distance from me. Whatever he does, I will be beside him. He is my wife and I am his husband. No one can be between Jinyoung and me.

I sighed. Apparently, I was not able to fool that man. No wonder he did not move a little when I pretended to have amnesia. It’s because he already knows.

I immediately closed the diary when I heard someone open the door. It was Mark. When I looked at him, there was a strong urge to hug him. But when I thought about how I didn’t believe him all this time, I felt embarrassed to start it first. How can I start all this?