India Pov
My heart just breaks everytime I look in Kalana's eyes. Like she doesn't have her dad anymore. A piece of her is gone now, it's gonna effect her so much the more she grows, she'll go through what I went through, not having my mom.
At our church, they were having a daddy daughter luncheon. When it was announced, Luna looked at Lucas smiling and tugging on his arm. "Daddy take us , take us." She said. Lucas smiled at both of them. I looked at Kalana, she just looked at Luna's excitement, smiling at her as if she was happy for her. Man was I bout to cry , stuff like this get to me. Karrueche rubbed my shoulder and gave me reassuring smile, "You know Lucas is gonna be there for her."
Lord I was really tryna hold it together. After church I was still feeling down.
"Lucas, India is gonna ride with us, we'll be trailing yal." Karrueche said wrapping her arm around me.
"Ok." Lucas said.
I got in the car with Karrueche and Chris. She sat in the backseat with me. As soon as my door closed, I boohoed cried. Karrueche just held me.
"This hurts so much Kae!" I cried out.
She held me tighter , rocking me .
"It hurts because, Keith passed away, at the time Lana was aware of things. Like she knows who her dad is, and she knows Lucas isn't her real dad. She knows daddy isn't coming back. Like she knows it's supposed to be Keith taking her to Daddy daughter luncheons and dances. She's really gonna have to go through life without her dad, I DIDNT WANT THIS FOR HER" I cried.
" I know love, but you got yourself a strong cookie. She is holding up well. You seen how she was able to be happy for Luna. Keith is with her I promise you. She is surrounded by love. Lucas is doing well at stepping up as Kalana's dad. He is there to fill that void."
"Yea , I know. I guess another thing is, what's saddening me is this is what Keith looked forward to doing. Like I just remembered back when I was pregnant and he was gushing over being a father. And he couldn't wait to be able to take her to father daughter dates. Or to walk her down the aisle when she gets married." I said before tearing up again.
"Yea I know love." Kae replied not letting go of me.
" I'm scared she's gonna feel lonely. I'm scared she's gonna hate Father's Day, I sure as hell hated Mother's day." I added.
"Hated it too." Chris said.
" It may be true, but you're not looking at the fact that Lucas is here, she has so much father figures to look to. Damn all the uncles she has. You can make it better, there's ways you can make Fathers day good for her. All it takes is keeping Keith's memory alive." Kae said going through my hair.
"You're right." I said. Ideas in my head started making me feel better.
We finally made it to my house. " Mahme you k" Lana said coming to me.
"Yes baby girl." I said picking her up. "You was crying mahme?" She asked.
"Yes mommy was crying, but I'm better now." I said looking at her. Gosh. I see him all in her. She getting so big. So smart and loving like her dad. It's like he lives through her .
A tear quickly escaped my eye as I kissed her cheek.
Lucas walked up behind me and kissed my forehead. He put his hand on my waist and guided me into the house as he carried Issac.
We all just hung out. Kae helped me cook Sunday dinner as Lucas and Chris watched the game and the kids.
After dinner, Kae and Chris left.
As the girls played upstairs and Issac slept, Lucas came in the kitchen to help clean.
"Whats going on babe?"he asked hugging me from behind and kissing my cheek .
I sighed and said "Kalana."
He hugged me tighter, "baby you know I got her."
"The thing is I know you do. It's just the fact she knows who her daddy is, she knows that it's Keith that's supposed to be taking her there and you're supposed to be taking Luna there. I remember one night she was looking in the mirror and she said I look like daddy. Just to test who she now considers as her dad, I asked, you think you look like Lucas , she shook her head and said no My daddy. So she's aware. Every night, Lucas, she calls her daddy's phone leaving a voicemail for him and she has yet stopped talking to that teddy bear before bed either. She knows." I said tearing up and immediately wiping my tears.
Lucas turned me around and hugged me tight.
He encouraged me and made me feel better.
So every night, we all watch movie together, until it is time for the girls to go to bed.
I had Lana stay back and talked to her as Lucas went to tuck Luna in bed.
"Come here baby girl." I said opening up my arms. She crawled over to me.
I held her and went through her hair.
"Do you wanna go to the Daddy daughter dance with Luna and Daddy?" I asked.
"No mahme." She said .
"Ok baby girl." I said kissing her forehead.
•••••
Since Kalana didn't want to go I decided to do something special for her.
I decided to take her to Keith gravestone and we had a picnic there.
"You wanna know something so cool about your dad and I that Let me know he was destined for me." I said as she sat in my lap as we ate our sandwiches.
"Yes mahme."
"Way before I started dating your father , I had a dream him and I was married and we had a daughter that looked just like you. I woke up then months later we started dating. Your dad was my dream come true."
"Do you dream about daddy mahme now? I do."
"Yes I do baby girl."
"How you know daddy."
"I met him in college. He was a great friend to me there. The sweetest man I've ever met. I could always count on him."
"Daddy is my favorite person in da werl." She said happily. Man she has her dad's smile. I always thought she'll look like me the more she gets older, but nope that's Keith's child.
I held her tight and said " I pray one day when you get older you find a man like your father. He was loving, caring, so kindhearted, he was so peaceful, he was the peacemaker in every situation. He was such the gentleman and he loved his family so much." Just talking about him made me tear up.
"If him not like daddy, I don't want him." She said shaking her head.
I laughed and then kissed her cheek, "That's right baby."
She turned around, now facing me as she sat in my lap.
I just hugged her tight and started giving her kisses.
"Your dad loved you so so so much. Before you was born he still loved you. Every single night, while you were in my tummy, he use to talk to you every night through my stomach and was always next to you. Every night he'd sleep by my stomach while you was in there, to keep you company. He got super happy every time you kicked. He would have loved to take you to the daddy daughter luncheon. I just want you to remember, he is always with you and watching over you. He's right in there." I said and then pointed to her heart.
She smiled and said, "daddy is in my heart!"
I then showed her all the videos of him and of them together.
She really enjoyed the picnic and asked to do this more often. I felt at peace now knowing I can keep Keith's memory alive for her.
