Man I just been feeling low because I miss my dad. I went to go visit his grave today and it was just an emotional moment.
I was so hurt just looking at the tombstone. I needed him.
"Daddy why did you have to leave?! Why leave me the time I was gonna need you the most! I just need to hear your voice again dad. You're my bestfriend. You were the man who truly loved me. Who do I call now? Mom is gone and now you are. We know none of our family, you just left us alone. How could you!? I.. just.. need to talk to you and you talk back."I said crying.
I hate showing my emotions, but I couldn't stop crying.
"I wish this was all a dream."
Minutes later Sammy showed up.
He sat next to me on the ground and gave me a hug.
"I miss him too, a lot. But it just feels as if I lost him before we actually really lost him."Sammy said looking down at his hand.
"Why you say that.?"I asked wiping my tears.
"Growing up he was my bestfriend, my hero, but once ma left it's like I lost him too. He changed. I know I changed into such an bad son, but I think of it as me crying out for dads attention. But It was like he gave up on me when I started slacking. It's like he didn't care anymore. You became his priority because you was doing so well in school and you never got into trouble. I hate that when he started wanting to become close to me and bring the bond we had back, I always pushed him away. I hate the conversation we last had. I just wish I told him I love you. Man it hurts just knowing the last thing you said to your father was fuck you. If I could take it back."he said. He broke down crying and I held him.
Out of all of us, I know Sammy was hurt the most. His ending with dad wasn't so good .
To lighten up the mood I brought up a memory.
"Remember when dad let us both go on a trip with him since he wanted to be with us the week of our birthday? And when it was your birthday he woke you up at 12, grabbed your wrist and ankles, and started swinging you back and forth while he sung happy birthday ."
Sammy laughed and said"yea, I look at the picture you took every day."
He went through his phone and showed me the picture.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Man I miss him so much. The best dad one could ask for." I said.
"Yea." Sammy said.
"If only you could send mail to heaven."I said.
"Heaven's post office would be full of mail for dad."Sammy added as we both looked up in the sky.
