India Pov
"Bruhh stop! You're getting mad annoying. You trying too hard to fill Keith shoes. You can't, you was born as Lucas fucking Coly, Not Keith Powers . Just stop. Stop. Stop. If you gon be here, be here for the kids, not me. It ain't nothing you can do to help me cope with him being gone!"
"No,You're getting mad annoying! Your energy throws off everything. You always wanna act mad at the world. You not even tryna stop grieving over him. You gonna fucking grieve yourself to death. I'm not even tryna be that nigga, I'm just tryna be there for you. Cause its in my heart to do that cause you my first love and my baby mama and I don't wanna see you down. I really thought I could deal with your attitude, cause I was able to deal with it when your dad passed away, but this is draining. Your negative energy is terrible. Always fucking yelling at me and putting your anger on to me, like I'm the fucking one who killed Keith. You ever notice nobody wants to be around you anymore? The girls not even under you as much as they use to cause they afraid of getting in trouble for no reason. Keith's death really changed you and not in a good way. Keith wouldn't even let you be this way. Mannn I'd leave, if I didn't love and care about you and the kids. I swear. It's hell being here with you. The old India needs to come back." Lucas yelled before walking out the house.
"Daddy!" Luna cried running to the door.
"Go sit down." I said. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. Then walked out the house to follow Lucas.
Lana followed too.
I just took Isaac upstairs with me in my room and we watched tv.
Later on everyone got ready for bed. Lucas got the girls ready for bed and tucked them in.
I got Isaac ready for bed and then rocked him to sleep.
Once he was finally sleep , I got ready for bed.
But before getting in bed, I rolled me up a blunt and sat out on my balcony. Just looking out at the stars, reminiscing on the times spent with Keith.
A few minutes later Lucas says "Can I join?"
"Yea." I said.
"Aww look at you becoming nice." Lucas said chuckling.
I laughed and said "what you mean?"
"You'd be mad at me for coming into your in the first place."
"I guess I have been becoming nicer to you, it's probably cause this blunt"
"Mhmm." He said.
"I have been mean to you, I do apologize. You didn't deserve any of that, you was just being there for us. I do appreciate everything you have done."
" Its fine, I apologize for going off on you tonight."
"Nah I deserved it, I've been a bitch. I needed to hear that." I said
It was quiet for a moment.
"Its hard to just stop grieving over his death, because he-" I said and Lucas finished the sentence with me saying "Didn't Deserve to die."
"Yea, like shit, it should have been you the fuck." I said.
"Just kidding." I said laughing.
He laughed and said "Nah you right, I'm a killer ,liar,and cheater."
I laughed and said "Nooo, nobody deserves to be killed. Wouldn't even wish that upon my enemies "
It got quiet for minute as we just looked at the stars.
"I wanna be happy,I really do. I wanna stop grieving and live life. But its hard when I'm always waking up to rude awakenings . Waking up in the morning and not seeing him in bed sleep or downstairs cooking breakfast, but instead seeing a empty bed ,being reminded he's not in bed because he was shot and killed , and actually reliving the moment of him slowly dying." I said holding back tears.
"I understand." He said.
We talked for a while,until we got sleepy .
Lucas was about to leave my room, but I said "Lucas, can you ......stay."
"Yea." He said.
He got in bed with me. He laid far from me, trying to give me space.
"Hold me,Lucas."I said.
He got close and held me as I rested my head on his chest.
The next morning, I woke up to him looking at me and going through my hair.
And I just went for it and kissed him .
"Are you imagining I'm Keith?" He asked.
"You can't be him . You was born as Lucas fucking Coly.Not Keith Powers." I said laughing.
He laughed and kissed my forehead.
