Here I Go

Here I Go 16

                After dinner, everybody went on the dance floor and began dancing. But I sat and watched from my dinner table. Sighing, I took another sip of my beer and covered my face with my hand.

                Jayden walked over to me and sat next to me. “Why aren’t you dancing?”

                Drunk, I answered with a unattractive laugh. “Because I don’t feel like it.” I got up and marched out the hall. The warm summer air meeting my face, I stumbled on my own two feet. Jayden reached out to keep me steady and shook his head.

                “You’re drunk.”

                “So?” I asked.

                “Since when do you drink?”

                “Since when do you care.” We had a staring contest, nobody saying a word. I snorted and pulled away from him walking down the dark empty road.

                I felt Jayden just a few feet around me. “Leave me alone.”

                “No.” He said stubbornly.

                Tears began leaving from my eyes and I stopped walking but didn’t dare turn around. “Please Jayden, leave me alone.”

                “Why?” He asked just a few inches behind me.

                “Because I want to be alone.” I didn’t know I was yelling know.

                “Please don’t do this.” He said, his voice cracking and full of sadness.

                “You don’t know how hard it is to say hello to you. Or to act like none of this is bothering me when really it is. I don’t know why, but it is.”

                “Pleas—“

                “No!” I said, shaking my head. “Listen to me. It hurts to say hello. It hurts to remember us. And every time I look at you, I remember us. Jayden, I remember us.”

                Falling on my knees, I began to weep in my hands. Jayden kneeled beside me and put an arm around me. His mouth a few inches away from my ear. “I remember us to.” He whispered.

                My stomach exploded with his touch and voice. Closing my eyes as tight as I could I tried not to jump at him. “Then why does it hurt me more than it hurts you?”

                “It’s never going to be that simple.” He said.

                It was a long time before anyone said anything.

                After a while of sitting there, I sat up and took a deep breath. “Just leave me alone Jayden.”

                When I started to walked again he grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. “I love—“

                “Don’t!” I said in a hard tone. “Don’t you dare.” I turned to face him for the first time we’ve been out here and I shook my head. “Want to know why? Because you don’t. You never did. Just please, for god’s sake, leave me alone.”

                Turning to walk away, I began crying again. Walking down the empty, hushed road by myself I began to remember all the good things and how everything crashed. It took all of me to not turn around and run to him. But I had to move on.

                I had to leave.

                I had to clear my head.

                When I was a little more away from the hall I began running and came to a stop in the middle of a felid. I took a deep breath and screamed as loud as I could.

                Falling to the ground I screamed again and this time, I didn’t cry. I was all dried out. I was tired of being tired

I swallowed hard and bit my lip. I glanced over nervously to my friends and took a deep breath. As the music started playing, everybody turned to look at my mom walking down in her beautiful dress.

When she finally stood in front, she smiled. She looked so beautiful and happy. Jayden swallowed hard and glanced at me. Our eyes locked, and my heart skipped.

The wedding went on. Making my heart beat faster and faster.

"Speck now or forever hold your peace." 

 I took a deep breath and dropped the flowers. "You can't marry him!" I said. Everybody gasped while my mother looked at me with wide eyes. Her mouth hanging opened like a bug trying to find food.

Jayden stepped up and walked up to me standing by my side.

“What?” My mom gasped.

“I’m sorry mom. But I’m in love with Jayden and that isn’t going to change.”

I dropped my flower and turned to face Jayden. “And I’m in love with your daughter.” I smiled and wrapped my arm around his neck pulling him closer.

My mom fainted and Jayden pulled me in for a kiss. The kiss was deep and slow, making my head spin. My mind was clear now.

We both didn’t care what our parent’s thought. We were going to be together no matter what.

And as we did.

We lived happily ever after.